Voices Numb: Zayn Malik

I stood at my bedroom door nervously looking in the mirror. Breathe, breathe, breathe I kept telling myself. But nothing seemed to be working. You look fine nothing to worry about. No one will notice you, not like this.

My name is Cole Mura, I'm 17 and live with my mum and dad in Bradford England. Yeah yeah usually when I tell people that they almost always react with "OMG DO YOU KNOW WHERE ZAYN MALIK FROM ONE DIRECTION LIVES?"

I'm used to that stuff now since X-factor finished more than a year ago, but truth is I do. He is my family friend and his family still lives right next door to mine. Only my three closest friends know the truth about his families location and connection to mine. He and I used to practice singing and playing all different kinds of instruments from the guitar to recorder. He had even bought me a ukulele for my 17th birthday which was the day before he auditioned for X-Factor. That was back when things were normal before.... NO, not today.

Now tomorrow is my 18th birthday and my friends Grace, Harper and Sam  have a surprise they have been keeping from me for months now. No matter how much begging I couldn't pry it out of them.They were so frustrating sometimes.

So that brings us back to my little freak out. I had tied back my hair into a low pony tail and slid on some casual clothes. Knowing my friends this surprise could be anything from a nice dinner out to having me cage fight with a bull.

My phone buzzed and I turned away from the door to pounce on it. I had developed a bad habit lately of hoping, desperately hoping each text I receive would be from Zayn. I no that I shouldn't be feeling this way about my family friend that I have known since I was little, but I can't help it. The only thing I can do is fight it. He's a superstar now in One Direction. He has millions of girls throwing themselves at him day and night, there's no way he would ever want me. I bet he hasn't even thought about me since before X-Factor.

The text was from Grace: Hurry up bitch we're out the front of your house and I can't wait much longer.

Grace was always the charmer with her language. I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs.Nobody was home at the moment so I let myself out and locked the door behind me. I could see Harper's car at the bottom of the driveway. I pulled out my phone to text my parents what time I would be home as I opened the car door and got into the front seat.

"Can you tell me the surprise now. Please Harper come on!"

"Fine, you earned it."

It wasn't Harpers voice but it was one that I would have recognized anywhere. I looked up and tears started to form in my eyes.

"SURPRISE! Do you love it?" I spun around to see Harper squeezed into the back of her car and pointing her iPhone camera directly into my face. By now the tears were welling so much they were about to run straight down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Zayn asked as he wiped away a tear that had escaped.

I couldn't speak but simply looked at him.

"I.. I've missed you so much." The last part came out as a whisper.

"I know, It's not the same without you. You're perfect and sometimes when things get tough I wish I could just climb over your fence and talk to you like I used to."

He didn't and probably never will know just how much that meant to me. He turned on the car at last and pulled out of the driveway.

"Good surprise then?"

"Yes" I was now somehow crying and laughing at the same time. "The best!" I reached out to give him a second hug.

"Anyway, how long are you in Bradford for?" I pulled away form the hug, wiped my eyes and tried to pull myself together again. I wanted to the answer to be something along the lines of as long as I'm needed because them he would never leave.

"I have to leave later tonight"

"Oh" I felt the tears coming back into my eyes and turned away from him so that he couldn't see just how hurt I was. I once again regained control of my emotions and we pulled into the airport.

I knew that if I had to go and see him off I was going to loose it and do something stupid that I would regret. 

I was so overwhelmed by the whole surprise and so grateful to finally have my friend back. It felt like a piece of me had been missing. The day went by in a blur, mostly because I couldn't remember things being this normal in forever. 

Finally, the moment I had been dreading. Time to send Zayn off. We drove to the train station and he opened the car door for me and I clumsily got out. He chuckled, "You haven't changed a bit have you?"

Wow! he really didn't know about anything. All the stuff that had happened last year. I was sure that someone by now would have told him.

We headed inside the train station and I could feel myself choking up. The only thing heavier than my chest was Zayn's bag I was carrying. 

"Hey we'll be right back you guys wait here" Grace gestured for us to stay as she grabbed Harper and Sam dragging them away with her. 

"So how's everything in Bradford been? There's something different about you I just can't work out what"

"Oh you know, same old. But yeah it's probably just my hair" I still couldn't believe he didn't know. "I can't believe you're leaving me so soon we have so much more to do!"

"Well I-"

"COLE!"  Harper was yelling my name as she skipped back to us.

"Yeah what's up you're being so weird right now."

"Well you're going to be late if you don't get your shit together"

"Shit together?" I looked behind her to see Sam and Grace wheeling my suitcase towards us. 

"You didn't think that Bradford bad boy over there was your only birthday surprise. I should've know that this was all to simple for them.

Harper then handed me a boarding pass.

"Seriously Cole, you didn't think I would leave you on such short noticed, did you?" Zayn asked. "Besides I missed you too much, and the other lads are dying to meet you."

I was slow at catching on at first and I found myself almost crying for about the ninth time today. I quickly gave my friends each a hug before following Zayn to the first class boarding area. The girls had said they packed everything I would need to a two month long vacation in London but i didn't trust them enough.

To think, this morning I was desperately missing my best friend and I honestly didn't know how much more school I could take without him, not after the incident... No today was good and I wasn't going to think about that. I had promised myself that I wouldn't anymore.