Voices Numb: Zayn Malik

Chapter 3.

When I woke up in the morning I felt groggy, No other way to describe it. I always felt like this when I woke up from one of my dreams. But I was used to them now considering it all happened over a year ago. 

I rolled over to look at Zayn who was still sound asleep. I had learned over the years that he would eventually wake up in his own time. I brushed my hair in the bathroom mirror and slowly made my way downstairs to where the other boys were eating breakfast. 

"Morning!" 

"Shh, Louis. Voices down" I grabbed a mug out of the cupboard and began to pour myself a coffee. 

"Where are the others?"

"Harry went out late last night, Liam and Niall went out for food, and I'm guessing Zayn is still asleep. So here I am."

I laughed at his gesture towards himself. 

"So what was with the screaming last night?"

"Just a bad dream."  I could feel myself going red and turned away. It would be a dead giveaway that I was lying if he saw my face. He looked sideways at me but didn't continue with the matter.

"So, what are we doing today?" I asked.

"How would you like to tour London first hand?"

"Sounds great, I'll get ready now." I raced back up the stairs taking them two at a time. I rumaged through my suitcase and was not surprised at what I found. I bunch of lace bras and panties. There was no doubt in my mind that this was Grace's idea, she was always doing things like this to me.  

I finally managed to find a nice white shirt and jeans that I slipped on the meet Louis downstairs. 

"Alright Lou, I'm ready."

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ZAYN'S POV

Cole and Louis had been gone majority of the day. I'm figured he had taken her out to see London. I could barely remember the events of the night before and I wasn't sure what was real and what a dream was. 

I heard a soft knocking on my door. 

"Mmmm" was all that I could manage to get out, it was still so early. 

Niall poked his head around the door. "Jesus christ, that's a mess!"

I sat up slowly and looked around. Cole's clothes covered every inch of my floor. Niall jumped over a frilly pair of bright pink underwear and I couldn't help but laugh at him. 

He sat himself on the bed next to me. "Mate can I ask ya somethin?"

"Sure, go ahead." I was so tired why did he need to be in here so early when we have all day for questions. 

I could see the hesitation in his eyes and he started to fiddle with his hands. 

He eventually spoke, "How long have you loved Cole?"

The question caught me off guard and I didn't know how to respond. Suddenly I was wide awake. And my heart was sinking in my chest.

"What do you mean?"Maybe if I remain calm this will go away.

"Well, I just mean..."

I looked at him waiting for what he would say next. I wasn't going to give him any help at all with this. 

"I mean, I saw the way that you were looking at her last night when she woke everyone up."

It was dead silent. I couldn't even look at him. 

"Mate come on it's me, you know you can talk to me about this. I only asked because she scared the hell out of everyone but your face..."

I looked down at my hands. "I don't know. I haven't told anyone this but I-I just don't know." I gave into my emotions and looked Niall right in the eyes. "I shouldn't feel this way about her, she's been my best friend forever."

He nodded looking understanding, but he wasn't saying anything. 

"Niall, I don't know what to do. Sometimes when I look at her my heart feels like it will explode out of my chest. She's the one thing I miss about my old life, and I think about her everyday."

"Well have you told her any of this?"

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" It was the one thing that scared me more than anything.

"But what if she does." The look in his eyes was so pure.

"Niall."

"Yeah mate?"

"Don't tell the others, please. Let me figure this out."

He nodded once again before up and leaving me with my thoughts. 

After I got up, the rest of the day went by in a blur until Louis and Cole returned that night around 6:30. 

She looked beautiful. Her hair had being swept around from the wind all day and she still looked amazing. Yet she still looked different. I had noticed it when I picked he up yesterday but I just couldn't figure it out. 

"ZAYN!"

"Huh?" I had been so busy looking at Cole that I hadn't heard Liam ask me where we wanted to go for dinner. 

"Anywhere is good, I'm starving."

"Well It's my birthday so I get to choose." Cole grabbed her coat off Harry and walked towards the door. Everyone followed her out into the cool night air.

"Zayn!"

I heard my name and turned around and couldn't believe what I saw.

"Lillian?"

I couldn't believe that she was here. I hadn't seen her since before my X-Factor audition.

"Oh my god, I haven't seen you in ages." She moved towards me and gave me a quick hug.

Everyone was looking at me strangely.

"A friend Zayn?" Harry winked at me.

"Uhh guys, this is my ex-girlfriend Lillian. We ahh, went to school together back in Bradford ."

The boys shook hands with her one at a time.

"So Lillian, what brings you to London?" Liam was the first to speak.  She looked exactly the same as I had last seen her. Still with her long blonde hair and light blue eyes.

"My family is here on a holiday for a while."

"Cool, maybe we could all hang out some time," Harry said.

"Sounds great, but what are you guys doing now?"

"It's Cole's birthday so we are taking her out," Niall gestured around Louis to where Cole was standing.

"Cole? Cole Mura?" She moved towards Cole and hugged her, but Cole wasn't looking at Lillian and I'm pretty sure everyone could feel the tension in the air.

Finally after what felt like forever Louis broke the silence, "Well it was lovely to meet you Lillian, but if we want to make dinner we have to leave now."

I hugged Lillian goodbye and we all piled into Harry's car and it was the most awkward car ride of my life.