Blank Canvas [Wattpad Prize 2014]

[21]

Dear Anna,

I am so sorry for the last letter. I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. Katie and I were chatting a little but she left when I called her Anna. I remember when you slammed the door to my house when we had our first fight. When Katie turned on her heels and left, it was exactly like how you'd have left. Then I started crying in the bar. 

You: Connor, why don't you ever tell me you love me?

Me: Does it even matter?

You: I don't know. I just want to hear you say it.

Me: What is it with girls and them wanting their boyfriends to say 'I love you' to them? I mean if I didn't love you, why would I be dating you?

You: Jesus, Connor. I was just asking!

Me: Yeah, asking a goddamn stupid question!

You: You're such a jerk, Connor!

Me: Look who's talking!

And then you left. 

It was a stupid fight. We didn't talk for a week and that was the worst week of my life. But in the end, I gave in and apologized to you, profusely. We made up in the end. I still hate myself for having that fight with you. Why didn't I just say that I love you so fucking much? 

I let my ego got the best of me.

You were always so patient with me, Anna. 

I'm sorry all I've ever done was hurting you.

Connor.