Secretly in Love

Entry 9 - Mood Booster

Author's note: Please play the song po na inattach ko sa entry na 'to. Hihi. Maganda promise.

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Landon is crying.... he's infront of me right now.

I'm in my room and I'm pretty sure I locked the door so he must've gotten the keys from Yaya.

Ang tagal niya na katok ng katok at sigaw ng sigaw sa labas ng kwarto. And wala talaga akong balak pagbuksan siya. Damn it.

Why is he crying?

I have this urge to come to him and comfort him... but my pride stopped me.

Pagkatapos ng mga sinabi niya sakeng masasakit? Hindi pwedeng ganun na lang 'yon. I need a better explanation why he did it.

"I'm pretty sure I told you na ayaw muna kita makita diba?" I uttered coldly.

"Sobrang galit ako sa sarili ko... Lorraine, God knows how much I hate myself for saying those things to you.." Sabi niya habang pinupunasan ang luha.

I have to admit na it's my first time seeing him like this.

What happened to him? Kanina galit na galit siya and ngayon umiiyak siya sa harapan ko na parang nagmamakaawa?

Kahit ang tagal na namin magkakilala, I've never seen him like this... A part of me ay nagsasabeng baka nagseselos siya at nasasaktan but I erased those thoughts right away.

Stupid Lorraine. Don't get your hopes up. Don't assume unless stated... ikaw lang masasaktan. Aasa ka nanaman.

"H-hindi ko talaga sinasadya na nasabe ko yun... pero galit na galit ako kanina.. H-hindi ko na nakontrol.. but believe me... I didn't mean to.. trust me." He continued.

He's looking down.. he can't seem to look me in the eyes.

"Then why did you do it? Ano ba nangyayare sayo? Why are you being like this all of a sudden?" I told him.. trying to control my feelings. Pakiramdam ko anytime may papatak ng luha and I can't afford to show him na mahina ako.. I should act tough.

"I'm hurt.."

I waited for him to say more...

He's hurt?

Sobrang daming possibilities nanaman ang naiisip ko. A big part of me now is hoping na baka mahal nya nga ako.

Na baka tama si Perseus. Na dadating sa point na magseselos sya dahil mahal niya ako at di niya kayang makita akong masaya sa iba.

Kahit ilang beses kong pagalitan yung sarili ko hindi ko mapigilang umasa. Why is he saying these things? Umaasa ako eh.

Ayoko ng umasa.. nakakapagod. Isa pa, may girlfriend na siya diba?

"N-nasaktan ako Lorraine. Nasasaktan ako... bakit ba bigla ka nagboyfriend? Bakit yung agad agad naman?" He looked at me tears streaming down his eyes.

"W-What? What do you mean?"

Please tell me you love me.. please tell me you me...