"One venti iced caramel macchiato. Sub breve, please."
"Sure! And your name, ma'am?"
"Lorraine."
"Alright coming up!" ani ng Barista sa Starbucks.
This is my favorite drink of the year. Not that bitter, not super sweet. Just the right amount of caffeine kick I need daily. It is a nice morning. I got up early for work to catch up on some paperworks. Since kakabukas nga lang ng new branch namen, I am taking it easy.
I heard the beep of my phone signalling I received a text message.
In Ha, I am at the back entrance of your office.
Oh gosh. I am getting anxious about meeting Perseus today dahil nga sa nangyare sakanya about the dispatch news. I hope everything's okay.
Despite my drunken stint last night, I miraculously didn't get a bad hangover. Just bad undereyes -- due to extreme crying of course. Pero sa ilang araw or even linggo na iyak ako ng iyak, I mastered the art of concealing with make up. LOL.
I haven't told Perseus about what happened last night. To be honest, parang ayaw ko na syang ikwento coz it was a nightmare and may problema syang kinakaharap ngayon. But jeez. Finally. I was able to confess my feelings.
Need ko lang pala maging lasing na lasing to do that -- with a hint of galit na galit at SELOS na SELOS.
Isama mo pa yung mean girl girlfriend nya. Ugh. Kasuka. But truth be told, after hearing and seeing Landon's reaction after my confession, I finally realized completely na wala siyang feelings saakin. The past few days lalo, umaasa pa ako based sa reaction nya. But now that I confessed my feelings with him, sure na sure na sure na sure na akong he doesn't love me the way I want him to. Hopia lang talaga ako.
Masakit? Oo naman. But I am feeling better right now dahil para akong nabunutan ng tinik. Sumabog ba naman yung feelings ko e. I have Perseus. He seems super serious. I like him.. hindi katulad ng pagmamahal ko kay Landon but who cares? I will learn to love him-- baka nga mas malalim pa.
"Drink for Lorraine. Iced Caramel Macchiato Venti sub-breve!"
I walked to the claiming area, thanked the barista and went out of the cafe.
I texted Perseus back.
I just grabbed my coffee. I am on my way. 5 minutes. Did you have breakfast?
He texted right back.
Not yet. Hoping to have it with you.
I decided to grab something from Breadtalk to share with Perseus and then raced to the back entrance of our office.
"How's everything?" I asked Perseus while munching my chicken floss bread. We couldn't be seen in public so I decided to just have our breakfast in my office. It's not his first time here but we're now getting strange looks from some of our employees -- feeling ko nakilala nila si Perseus. Syempre pumutok ba naman yung balita sa dispatch eh. I haven't checked local news but I'm sure meron na din. How chaotic.
He looked at me. He looks a bit tired but still handsome. He's wearing a hoodie and regular maong pants. He decided to be on stealth mode and was even wearing a face mask when he got here.
I looked at him intently. His brown eyes -- even with just the regular lighting from my office looks so mesmerizing. Ang sarap katitigan ng ganito. And then he spoke.
"I think we handled it. My management will do a press release that I'm quitting. You know, so many rumors are rising and I want to clear that up before it gets worse."
"I am glad to hear that. Pero alam ko it will be really complicated. It actually already is. Let me know if I can help with anything ha." I tried to assure him. But who am I kidding? What can I even do for him? He looks so stressed and worried.
"Actually... people might soon or later know about you." He looks so serious now. "I tried to be the idol you might want me to be but I didn't realize na ganito pala yung consequences. I know we're in the Philippines now but who knows, baka may papparazi pa din dito. Even the local news.. they already posted articles about me. I feel so bad that you might get involved. Dating news in Korea is either a super good thing.. or a really bad thing."
I suddenly felt pity on him. Being a fan girl, I know how rumors can get and even stressful for people like him -- even some tried to commit s*icide because of how rude and bad people are. I felt a strong urge of confidence. "You know what, I don't care. I am your girlfriend. And even if iharass nila ako, wala naman silang masisira saakin. I am a Raz and I don't fear anything. I am confident your fans will accept me kasi di din naman ako basta bastang tao noh." I added to tease him -- and to make him feel better.
He forced a smile. "Thank you, Lorraine."
"I thought you're calling me In Ha now? I love being called In Ha. It feels like we're really a couple."
He smiled genuinely this time. "What's gotten into you? You.. seem different."
I moved closer facing him. We're both sitting on the couch so I made sure we're close enough.
"No. I just want to tell you that I am planning to get serious with you now. You know, even at first we did this to make Landon realize that he loves me -- he does not. I am now sure of that. Pero I won't be lying, I don't love you yet. But I like you. I like how you made me feel the past few days we've been together. I felt how sincere you are. My parents like you! You seem perfect for me and I wish you came sooner. What more could I ask for?" I blushed and couldn't help avoiding my gaze as I feel suddenly embarassed with the burst of honesty.
He seem shocked. I saw a tear fell in his eye but he tried to supress it. Siguro narealize nyang we're inside my office and it's not really the appropriate place to cry -- well I confessed to him so what the hell! I am getting good at confessing.
You might be annoyed with me for using him to move on.
Partly yes.. But more sa "no", because I genuinely like him. I stand by my words. I wish he came sooner. The way he made my heart flutter, the way he treated me.
This time, I am sure of his feelings with me. Unlike Landon na umasa lang ako the whole time. Simpleng pakita lang ng motibo, nagaassume na ako agad.
After a moment, he finally talked. "I--I'm so happy.. I don't require you to fall for me, In Ha."
He moved a little closer and held both my hands with his. We looked at each other. "When I started liking you, I never expected anything in return. I just liked you-- that's all. I made it my goal to make you happy.... I held back not just because I am not confident but also because I know your heart belongs to someone else. I respect that." He paused.
"...But it was hard. It was hard not to get close to you so I didn't stop myself anymore. I approached you. And looks like that's one of the best decisions I made." He smiled brightly this time with small tears falling from his eyes.
"..Hearing you say this right now, parang natupad yung pangarap ko bigla. You." He chuckled and wiped his tears. "I know it's corny but I am so in love with you. And I'll do my best para makalimutan mo na nararamdaman mo kay Landon. Just know I won't pressure you. Even if in the end, you might choose Landon over me. I'll be okay. I already made up my mind."
"Hey, don't be too pessimistic. I decided to stop loving Landon. That's final."
He eyed me jokingly. "Sabi mo eh."
"It's true! Hmp. Parang gusto ko tuloy panoodin mga kdrama mo para makita ko kung real yung iyak mo or not." I joked to brighten up the mood.
He laughed. And it's one of the melodic laugh I ever heard.
I don't think I will regret this. I deserve to be happy. And if he's true -- which I'm already sure he is -- then he deserves to be happy, too.
I stood up and went to my table to work on some deliverables.
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I'm back after MANY YEARS. HAHAHAHA! Odiba ang galing ko. I read the comments 3-5 years ago and I'm so sorry. Sobrang nabusy with life. May anak na ako. Yey! Hahahaha. I am not inspired anymore and I don't think I'm good enough anymore. Life indeed happened. But here I am.. trying the best I can to do what I loved doing -- writing <3 Binabasa ko ulit to and naamaze ako sa sarili ko na shet I really did this. Sana may magbasa pa din. Ok lang kahit wala. But I'll make it my goal to finish this!!!
I will just organize the next scenes to make sure they're worth the wait and I'll update weekly! <3 PROMISE NA YAN I SWEAR ON MY LIFE!
YOU ARE READING
Secretly in Love
RomanceA story about a girl who keeps hiding her feelings. The girl who prefers to suffer than spill her bottled-up feelings to the world. Will she be able to gain courage and be happy in the end? ...
