Growing Pains

Chapter 30

"But I don't see why you have to go?" Sam whines, his head perched on my shoulder as I book my train ticket home.

"I haven't seen my dad since Christmas and besides, if I see him now, I can stay here for the Easter break." I explain, Sam's face lighting up at the idea.

"Okay, fine. You'll be back on Sunday, right?" He confirms and I nod.

"I'll be gone for less than forty-eight hours, you won't even notice I'm away." I insist but Sam scoffs at my statement.

"If you believe that then you're an idiot." He mutters, walking out of my room. I smile at his attitude and print out my ticket. I pack some clothes and a book into my rucksack so that I'll be able to leave this evening.

I send a text to my dad, telling him to expect me at 8pm and he robotically replies, as per usual. If I'm being honest, there's a little more design to my visit home than just seeing my father. I actually plan to visit Sam's family too, but more importantly, I want to ask Camila's permission to date Sam. I want to do this the old school way and even though I'm 98% sure that Sam's mum will say yes, I still want to ask.

Then I'll actually have to get around to asking Sam. One step at a time; baby steps.

I lug my bag downstairs and rest it beside the front door, wandering into the front room to find Sam sulking on the sofa. I chuckle at his little pout and sit down beside him, stretching out my legs and lifting an arm; an invitation for Sam to snuggle up.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye and his resolve breaks, his discontentment crumbling as he leans against me.

"Are you going to be ok on your own for a few days? I don't want to come home to find you on the brink of starvation." I joke and Sam huffs.

"Yes, although it'll be all your fault if something terrible happens." He utters and I groan.

"Ugh, don't say that. Everything was so much easier when I could feel your pain." I grumble, more to myself than to Sam but I seem to have sparked his interest.

"What was it like?" He asks, resting his head on my lap so that he look up at me. I sigh, dragging my fingers through his loose curls.

"It felt different to my pain, more intense. I never had to worry so much because I knew that I'd be able to feel it and react accordingly." I explain and he nods slowly.

"And you miss it?" He asks, his nose crinkling in confusion.

"I didn't like feeling your pain, but I like feeling close to you. It's like a link between us, it's hard to explain. It feels alive, like you're right next to me even when you aren't." I mumble absently, trying to explain the feeling.

"You're talking in the present tense." He points out and I pause for a moment. Even though I don't feel his pain anymore, I feel as though the link between us is stronger than ever.

"I can still feel it, the closeness." I mumble with an accompanying shrug and Sam seems to drop it.

"Was it always as bad as..." He trails off but I know what he means.

"No, it got worse as we got older. Over the last year or so, your pain was more painful than mine." I say, frowning as I think about it.

"Is that why we're so close? Because you felt like you had to protect me?" He asks, his brow pinched together anxiously.

"No, not at all," I respond immediately, stroking his hair away from his forehead softly, "Admittedly it was easier to be with you than away from you. If I could prevent you from hurting yourself, I was saving both of us from pain. We were friends before the pain and perhaps it's a factor as to why we're so close, but there are plenty of other reasons." I explain and he raises an eyebrow.