Finding You

Finding You: Chapter Nine

Hello again! Here is another chapter for Finding You! I want to thank everyone for all the support I've gotten from Your Hoodie, I was in complete shock when I opened my email. Thank you all so much! Now, onto the new chapter! (r&r please!)

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I noticed the rain had let up by the time I exited the store, after multiple reassurances to the poor cashier that I was fine and only needed ice cream, of course. I put the ice cream in the trunk on top of the false bottom. It's still full of all of my gear, though I taught Nova to not go in there without me present. I keep the perishables fresh and check inventory regularly so nothing ever goes bad or spills in there.

I got myself onto the road a minute later, the sound of Baby's engine calming to me. As I drove, memories of Cas resurfaced from where I had buried them deep. Flashes of images spread across my vision, making it hard to concentrate on the road.

"Do you think she'll like us?" I asked nervously as I slid into the front seat of the Impala. Cas followed my actions on the passenger side.

"I'm sure she will, Dean." Cas replied with a calm I didn't currently possess as he buckled his seatbelt. Once I had started to drive to their destination, Cas started to get giddy, practically bouncing in his seat.

"Dean, we're finally going to be parents!" He said happily, mouth curled up in the biggest smile. I grinned widely.

"You're going to be the best, baby." I mused as I clasped Cas' hand in mine.

The memory of Cas' voice became more prominent as the rain began to pick up against the windshield again.

"Dean," Cas began, chuckling. "You realize we're married, right?"

"Of course." I grinned. "That just makes it funnier!"

Cas giggled and leaned in to peck me on the lips. We pulled apart, only for me to pull Cas back against me.

I tried my hardest to pay attention to the road in front of me and not to the painful memories that are only painful because Cas doesn't remember them.

"Dean, I love you,"

With that I pulled over to the side of the road. I couldn't drive anymore without the risk of crashing. My vision was blurred to the point that I couldn't see through my windshield and my eyes began to blur, This was not the time for tears, but it was also the best. I had to be strong for Nova as soon as I stepped through that door, and this was one of those rare moments I get to myself, completely alone. I took advantage of that, not caring about the ice cream in the back.

~Cas' POV~

I hung up my now damp trench coat on the hook provided on the back of the door. I felt a pair of eyes boring into me, and turned to see Nova staring at me intently, as if she was trying to memorize how I looked. The thought made my heart drop into my stomach.

"Yes, Nova?"

She looked startled for a second as her train of thought was broken.

"I-it's nothing. Wanna look at pictures? Daddy doesn't like to admit it, but his guilty pleasure is scrapbooking," She says hurriedly, before rushing to the closet, getting up on her tiptoes to pull out a stack of photo albums, before plopping them on the bed and climbing up to the best of her ability.

I chuckled and joined her on the edge of the bed, opening up the one that was the newest, still in the making in fact.

"There is me at my school's Daddy - Daughter dance a couple months ago! I made daddy wear pink to match the dress he helped me pick out!" Nova giggled, pointing to a picture of her and Dean. Dean was standing against a white brick wall of what could only be assumed as the school, Nova standing in front of him. His hands were clasped around her hands as she stood on her tiptoes, leaning forward slightly, both wearing huge smiles. Dean was wearing a pair of black slacks, a pale pink shirt, grey sweater vest and a pink striped tie, effectively matching Nova's cream, pink and brown dress paired with white tights and some black Mary Janes. I smiled, even as I felt an odd lump forming in my throat.

We went on like this for a while, going backwards in time as Nova explained the significance of each photo to me. Soon, we were three albums in, both of us completely enraptured.

"And here is the last time we went to the aquarium..." Nova trailed off as she looked at the photo she was pointing at. It was a picture of me, the first I'd seen in this montage. I was standing with a very young Nova perched on my shoulders. Nova is pointing at a fish swimming past, grinning toothy grin. I studied my features, a huge smile decorated my face as I looked at where she was pointing. A sliver ring was prominent on the hand that was visibly holding Nova's ankle, the same silver ring that I'd seen Dean wear.

~Flash back~

"Papa look, Flounder!" Nova said excitedly, pointing at the tropical fish that looked like Flounder from The Little Mermaid. I laughed at the reference to her favorite movie, smiling widely up at my daughter as we both studied the fish. I heard a camera click and turned to see Dean studying his phone with a smile.

"Look at this one, Cas! This is one for the album for sure!" He gushed as he showed the picture to me. I giggled and leaned in, kissing him.

"Awwwwww" a voice interrupted from above. We broke the kiss to see Nova grinning down at us. "Daddy and Papa love each other!"

Dean laughed and looked at me.

"Why yes Nova, we sure do."

~End~

I shook my head at the sudden memory, my head suddenly fuzzy. Just then the door opened revealing a drenched Dean. He smiled at Nova as she lept off the bed and skidded over to him. She took in his appearance with a great deal of concern, but she must have seen something in his eyes, for she bit her tongue.

"Daddy did you get ice cream?"

"Yes Nova I did, it's down stairs in the freezer. You can get yourself a small bowl, okay?" Dean responded, a playful but firm tone added to his voice. Nova nodded quickly before dashing out of the room to the kitchen. Dean then turned to me, eyeing the mess of photos and albums strewn across the bed.

"I see she showed you my darkest secret," he chuckled sarcastically as he walked over to the bed. He eyed the page the latest scrapbook was open to, seeing the picture depicting the memory I had just remembered. He met my eyes, and behind the strong demeanor he held, I saw the sadness in there too. I couldn't find it in myself to say anything about it, though.

"You want some ice cream? I got mint chip, vanilla and chocolate." Dean asked, looking away as he spoke.

"No thank you, Dean. I get enough of it at work," I decline. He nods.

"I forgot, you're an ice cream man," He laughs hollowly before making his way to the door. "Bathroom is around the corner, anything you need for a shower or to brush your teeth is in the set of cabinets next to it. If you need me for anything, I'm the last door at the end of the hall." He pauses. "Good night, Cas."

I stared fixedly at him, breath stuttering as I tried to take in a deep breath. I felt incredibly helpless as I watched him go.

"Good night, Dean."

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I'm so evil and I'm (not) sorry. Thank you for reading!