who to blame || Anthony Trujillo (NEXT SERIES: Who To Believe?)

2am thoughts

Highschool is cool and stuff they said. Exploring stuff we never know before, being super rebellious, enjoying every second with laughter and being careless, take the risks, say "fuck it" literally on everything, growing and become the person we could never imagine bevore. It's the scariest yet risky reality that will happen no matter what.

Life seems perfect if we get whatever we want right? go gram em' burgers, ice cream, waffles, french fries and give no fuck to nobody
But what if we crave for something else?

The scariest tragedy on this growing phase is we started to feel. Unusual pain and sadness start to haunting our head if we know that it's impossible to fulfil those cravings.

I feel peaceful when those winds hit my hair, leaving my hair all messed up. I can't even smell it but i can feel the peace hits me deep and make my chest lighter and lighter.
I feel feel my throat hurt when i laugh too hard, sometimes i lose my voice for a couple of days too. But i'm not regretting a single laugh, i feel so happy and my heart speaks it self.

But one day, everything turns blurry until i look around to adjust my eyes. I see a bright yet peaceful dark brown eyes and pearly white teeth on the left.
Man. that guy. i want him.
I instantly speak to my self and my chest pounding

I wasn't the coolest girl at school but who cares anyway? If i can't be his first, then im going to be his last.
That's seems bold, but i cant help my self to lie about my own feelings.
I admit that im just an 17 years old girl who sits with only 3-4 girls at lunch. But im proud bcs why the hell not?
They are my best friends till i die, they are the realest ones and yo note this to yourself "quality, not quantity".

Those cool girls sit with the boys and talk shit about literally everyone. I don't care tho, but seriously who cares right?

I never really talked to him that much on highschool, we only stare a couple of times by accident or maybe not even once? im not sure bcs oh boy, i cant waste my time without staring at him. I know i could never find a guy like this one out there after graduation.

---------------------------------------------

Yeah, so that's my short highschool story. Now im going to college with one of my best friend since middle school, Alissa most of the time and we live on the same apartment.
I really wanna move in to her room since she's all alone in her room but i think she will need some privacy so i stayed in another room on a different floor. And i know she stayed on her actual house every weekend, so i think its okay i get a separated room with her.

Collage years are also so much fun, but the different is you are now a lot mature and it helps you a lot to figuring out every single shit that happen. Or maybe sometimes it will trap you on a cage full of thoughts....

So back to reality, its 2:01 am and im not feeling so well since i got so many shit to do. Seriously the deadline are no joke y'all. And im currently doing many side jobs as a freelancer. Im modelling for a couple of small and growing local fashion brands.
It's frustating sometimes when im not really feeling well but i gotta do many things at the same time, i was driving to my photoshoot location yesterday and i put my laptop on the passenger seat. And guess what? im working while driving yo. I typed everything that i should whenever i stop for the traffic lights no joke.

Yesterday was an absolute crazy day to me, maybe thats why im feeling so flippin sick. I was going out to grab some food at 10PM but im ended up stopping at starbucks to see Alissa because i've just realised i got 3 missed calls from Alissa (i didn't check my phone after i got home from photoshoot session and just having a short nap after) and then i called her back. She needs to talk to me. She has been there when i arrived. She looks.. not good at all.. looking down to her phone with blank stare

"Hey whats going on?" I said and sat in front of her. Then she lift up her head and her eyes watery "Im gonna miss you so bad" her voice cracked so bad.
"What?why? Im here now. Im sleeping at the same building. Just call me whenever you feel lonely" i couldn't think clear since im hungry as shit. "No, yeah i know you never leave me. And never will. But.." she wipes her tears "But what??" I shake her shoulders.

"But what if im leaving you?" Her eyes widen and more tears running trough her cheeks, and then my vision getting blurry and my jaw dropped. "y..you're gonna leave? why?..when?" i really don't need the answer at this point bcs everything was already fucked up.
"My parents got divorced and i gotta stay with my mom in LA eventough i know i cant spend my days without you, i can't stop them. But i can't stay here with my dad too bcs dang it i can't seeing my dad drunk all night and sleeping with random girls on that fucking house" she explains with heavy breathe. I stared down at my phone, and i remember im still having so much work to do.
And gosh i don't need any of it at this point, i just want Alissa to stay and company me as always. "I still don't know when, i have zero money Z.. who will pay for the flight anyway" she continues.
"I'll help you with the ticket. where have you been?" I just don't know what to say anymore. All i know is i just wanna be her best friend for eternity and got her back as long as im still alive. Fuck the money, i'll think about it later.
"I was visiting my aunt, talking about those shit called divorce and how about you?" She calm down a little bit. "Doing a few photoshoot and then going out to mcd but then u called me" i replied, feeling all numb. And then i go back to my apartment and haven't got some proper sleep since that until now.

Alissa needs to be alone at this point bcs she knows how to treat her self and i'll check her up later and go shopping with her.
It maybe not a big deal for some people for being all alone. But for me, best friend(s) are a real big deal. Since im a shy piece of shit, i couldn't imagine how to talk to people. Aside of my side job being a part-time model, camera and a nice outfits are my best friend. But no joke, being shy and have to face my biggest fear of socialise is a real deal. Plus my best-super-hype-best friend are about to leave me. The destination are also no joke, Los Angeles.

What would i do at 2am? Social medias? Sure. I never checked it since i don't even know. I just posted some nice shots i got from photoshoots and all but thats it, not really a social media junkie or such. Just a normal mix-raced college girl in Ohio trying to make money for her best friend.

"Yo all these makeup tutorials vids are high key lit to be honest" yeah me talking to my self scrolling trough instagram and seeing those gorgeous girls and realising im just a sad piece of potato. But honetly why shouldn't i make one of these? I have a talent on make up with learning by my self and i've done my nephew's and her friends prom makeup for sure and its lit y'all.

I never really wear make up for daily basis bcs duh, ain't nobody got time for that. But honestly i really want to. I just fill up my brows and put on a nice lipstick everyday. It's almost impossible to make my face all glam when i don't even have time to straighten my hair in the morning. Messy bun and hoodies is my shit.

Hi everyone! 😊 i hope u like this chapter. I'm really sorry for my poor grammar, clumsy writing and stuff. Like seriously im sorry and im so glad if u like it a lot bcs this is my very first experience on the world of writing fanfic💓 next chapter will be updated soon!