Chapter 8

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dedicated to Nannaratigan

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We drove in silence, like most of my car rides lately. After we ordered my mom looked at me, practically ordering me to speak.

I started with what happened in middle school, since she never knew the reason I'd ditched Shawn for new friends a year later. I told her how Shawn and I had become friends in the last few days. I also told her about our recent talk in the park. And I told her about my fight with Tamara, and how all of my friends warned me about Shawn and his friends.

She listened carefully, the way I wished my friends did. She just nodded at everything I told her.

When I was done talking she ate a little bit of ice cream. She was speechless. I guess people didn't have that much drama when she was in high school.

She looked at me, as if trying to look through me. Considering the fact that she's mom I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

"Well? I was kinda expecting some motherly-wise advice from you." I said. She just laughed a little. "To give you my powerful motherly wisdom I need to think." I laughed this time.

"It seems to me that you're friends are just worried about you." She started. "They're all still very hurt from what happened, and it's probably weird for them that you have moved on already. Maybe you should talk to them. Tell them that people change and that you all should give them another chance."
I nodded, trying to process what she just said.

She then said "And about Shawn. Honey, I know it hurts. It hurts me too knowing that you had to go through that pain alone. But if he's willing to say sorry, you should talk to him. Maybe you can start over and become friends again. I would love it if you were friends with Shawn, like when you were little kids." I smiled. A weak smile.

"So what should I do? Call my friends? And him?" I asked. My mom thought about it for a while. "How about this: I'll talk to your friends' mothers--" I interrupted. "Mom, sorry, but no. We're not little kids." My mom rolled her eyes. "Well you sure are behaving like little kids. I'll call their mothers and tell them that you are all drifting apart. I'll talk with them and figure out what to do." I stood in shock. She couldn't be serious.

"And about Shawn... Call him and talk. Today. And you better have a good talk because I already texted his mom and invited them over for our barbecue." My eyes widened. Now she definitely couldn't be serious. The barbecue was strictly for family only. "Mom, are you kidding me?" I said. She smiled, stood up and said. "Nope. Come on, let's go. They're coming over at six thirty and we have to get ready. And you should call him before they come. It would be nice if you weren't mad at each other when we're all there." My mom was actually crazy. But since I couldn't do anything I stood up and we left.

When we got home I put on a floral blouse, shorts and sandals. I grabbed my phone and called Shawn. Voicemail. I called again. Voicemail. I called a third time and still no answer. I decided it was best to leave a text: Hey, can I go to your place b4 the barbecue? We need to talk. Again.

I checked the clock. It was 5:15. Still no answer from Shawn but I did have a text from someone else. It was Ashley. It was a picture of me and Shawn laughing together while we walked at the park. Where'd you get this??? I texted. She responded immediately. I was there with Brian. So what? First you dance with him and now you sneak around with him? Wait 'till the others hear. Tears started falling on my cheeks. How could I have not noticed she was there? I had to do something. I started typing. Ashley, please. I beg you not to tell them. We're supposed to be best friends. Please don't do this.

I wiped away my tears. There was nothing that scared me more than losing my friends and if she showed them the picture I was sure bound to be friendless again.

I had two new texts. One from Ashley and one from Shawn. Finally. They read:
Ashley: I won't tell on one condition. In the next soccer tournament you tell coach that you're too tired and that I should play.
She's got to be kidding me.
Shawn: Sure, I guess. Come.

I texted answered Ashley's text really fast. Sure. It made me wonder why she would want to play in the next tournament. Last week she said that she was going to try for a scholarship to go to college, but I never thought that she was actually serious.

I went to Shawn's house as soon as I had answered Ashley's text.

"Hey, Shawn." I said. He was sitting on the chair on his porch. He patted the chair next to him, signaling for me to sit.

"So, I wanted to talk about--" I started talking but he interrupted me by putting his hand on mine. My skin tingled. "I'm sorry Emma, I really am. I didn't think it would go that far and I didn't think that it would still hurt you so many years later" Well you were wrong as fuck, don't you think? I thought. But I couldn't say that to him. He continued talking. "I'm not saying that this justifies my actions but I mean, I was only thirteen. I was pretty immature back then." I smiled and said "Back then?" He raised his hands in surrender and smiled. "Okay, I'm still pretty immature. But now I wouldn't be capable of doing what I did."

We stayed silent for a while. No one talked, cars weren't passing, his parents were probably still getting ready. The only sound was of our breathing. And the awkwardness was most likely heard too. "So, um, do you forgive me?" he said. He caught me by surprise. I smiled and nodded.

We sat in silence again for what felt like an eternity. I decided to break the silence this time. "So does this mean that we're friends again? Even school friends?" I tried to sound steady, like I didn't care, but my voice seemed to carry hope in it, giving away what I really felt. "Yeah I guess, if you want to." I smiled. I did want to.

"Shawn! Can you help me with the babies please?" His mom yelled. His parents and siblings were going out the door.

His dad was trying to carry grocery bags that I guess were meant to go to my house. His mom was trying to get the two baby stroller through the door. His older brother was carrying more groceries. That was a crap ton of food. And finally, his younger sister was trying to help their mom with the babies. She was carrying one of them. What's the point of a two baby stroller if you end up carrying one of them?

"Shawn, take Jesy out of stroller so mom can get it out." Shawn did what his sister told him. I stood there awkwardly as the whole Becker family tried to get out of the house. It was funny in a way, how many they were and how they tried to get out the door but I managed to contain my laugh.

"Oh! Emma, honey. I didn't see you there!" said Shawn's mom, Felicia. "Hi Mrs. Becker! Do you want me to help you with that big bag you have?" I pointed to the bag she had on her shoulder. Probably with all the baby stuff. "Oh yes, please." she said. I took the bag from her and started walking with the family to my house, except his dad who was locking the door.

We got to my house and the door was opened. "Um, everything's in the backyard so you can all go there." They probably already knew that. This wasn't the first time they came for a barbecue. Although it was the first time in a few years.

When we got to my backyard I called my dad and said "I brought some guests that wanted to join us." My dad turned around and started saying hello to everyone. He was beyond exited. Then my mom walked through the door. Everyone was saying hello.

After we were all done with the salutations we sat on the table and began to talk and eat. Everyone was so happy. I'd never seen my parents so happy before. It was amazing. 

 

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