A/N contains mental health triggers!
When I woke up, I could hardly open my eyes, I was so tired. When I finally opened my eyes to see my room I was in awe of what Tony had done. He had arranged the room to resemble my old bedroom, he even unpacked my clothes in the white and black wardrobe and matching draws which were from my old room and he even sorted them in type (e.g. pants, leggings, long arm tops, T-shirts etc) even the wall colours were the same, three walls a matte white and one wall a glossy teal with my white blossom tree painting with a gold background. It all looked amazing, suddenly there was a frantic knock on my door and Clint burst in with Natasha. "AH, what the fuck?" I screamed at them because I was in a crop top and underwear yet their faces looked relieved. "sorry, we was worried, you've been asleep for twenty-three hours! We thought something had happened to you." Natasha explained. "oh shit! That means I'm going to be late for training, can you tell Thor that I'm going to be late." Clint nodded and they headed out the room and left me to get dressed. I jumped out of bed and got a shower and got dressed in a blue crop top and black yoga pants with my favourite pair of white converse. I rushed to the kitchen to get an apple, as soon as I walked through the door I found Tony, Thor and Loki, I could feel their eyes all over me as I went to the side and got a green apple from the fruit bowl. *whistle* "well, look who finally woke up" Tony said with a smirk and a wink. "Tony, do not demean her." Thor said while giving me a sweet smile. While out the corner of my eye I could see Loki looking me up and down, like how a dog looks at a piece of meat, his smirk growing bigger as he bit his lip slightly. "come on guys, I'm not a piece of meat, let's just get training over and done with!" I said while giving Loki a glace, his face dropped a little because he knew I caught him.
Time skip ~ 3 weeks later
Everything was going great, my training sessions were complete, I had bonded with everyone... except Loki. He was different, one minute he was kind and open, then the next minute he was hurtful and closed off to the world.
It was around five in the afternoon and I was making my way to the kitchen from the elevator, I had been in my room all day watching Supernatural on Netflix marathon style and I over heard everyone in the TV room laughing and talking about me, I walked in and everyone stopped talking and looked at me, as if they wanted me to leave, even Loki was there. I felt rejected. "hi guys" I said with a smile, they all huffed and turned away from me. Luckily I saw my black and gold earphones on the coffee table so I quickly grabbed them and tried to hide my sadness and left for the kitchen. My breath hitched and a single tear fell down my face, I was about to cry but Tony walked in so I turned away, wiped my face and carried on getting some snacks to carry on with the marathon I was doing. He didn't even talk to me, he just grabbed a few beers and went back to the TV room, for a split second he was going to talk but he hesitated and walked off.
The next two days were the same but on the third day after it started was my final straw. It was a typical day of being ignored that was until I tried to confront them. I stormed into the living room and like usual they all looked at me and did their signature sigh and turned away. "why are you ignoring me? Have I done something wrong? Do you hate me? TELL ME?" I screamed at them and they didn't even move, tears streamed down my face, "why keep me here when you don't even acknowledge my existence!" my sentence turned to a whisper. I had a lump in my throat. Then I heard Loki from the back of the room whisper the word 'pathetic' and followed by a sharp inhalation of breath, probably because his brother jabbed him in the ribs trying to signal something which I wish I knew what is was about. I ran down the hallway and into the elevator, it took me to the only place I can ever go when I'm feeling depressed, which is what I am currently feeling. When I was fifteen I was diagnosed with severe depression and self harmed regularly, a week before I turned sixteen I attempted suicide by overdosing, my mother came home early from work and saw the empty bottle on the floor, then rushed me to A&E. That Halloween I tried to gas myself using my granddads old car in the garage, unfortunately for me his neighbour saw 'cloudy smoke' coming from under the garage door and that's how that attempt failed. Then when I was seventeen and eighteen I tried to kill myself again but both attempts failed. After that happened they sent me to a mental institute, I finally got out last year, I got a job and a cosy apartment in lower Manhattan, I've been clean from it all even self harming, but I was tired of being strong, tired of being 'normal'. I got to the roof, I looked over the edge. 'this was a new way' I thought to myself. I slowed my breathing. I jumped.
A/N sorry if this affects anyone X
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