Alone in Marriage

Chapter Twenty Two

Arnold looked nervous, Erica thought she was hallucinated, Arnold Binder never got nervous, more over in front of her, a mere hindrance.

He sat on the couch, when he saw that she was just standing, he scratched his head and stood up. "Can you sit down?" If she didn't know him, she would sure she can hear desperation in his voice, she knew it better than anyone, he would never begged for anything, he ordered, he use tricks but never begging.

When she finally sat down opposite him, he followed suit. "First of all, I want to apologize for every bad thing I had done. I know I don't deserve it, especially after you almost died because of me. However, I am so sorry... I know whatever I do, I will never ever be able to make it up to you. But since you love me enough to save me, I hope you will give me another chance."

When he saw her confused face, he pulled out a tiny book from his suit pocket. "I found this in your bag." She gasped, that was where she wrote down the divorce requirements. She brought up her gaze to his face, she was surprised when she saw sorrow in his eyes and also his hurtful expression.

He looked her in the eyes, trying so hard to showed her how sincere he was right now. "I know I deceived you before, but can you give me another chance? Can we start all over again? I will show you we can make this marriage work. I know you had given me the chance and I screwed it up because of my cowardice. But, just one more chance, that's all I am asking from you. "

Was this true? He sounded so desperate! She found it was hard to believe what was happening right now. It became harder to believe when he added, "Please! I know I don't deserve it, but please, just one more chance. I promise you I won't failed you again."

Please? Did he just said please? He, who even as a child never begged anything from his parent, instead he worked and bargained. But he said please to me, twice! Why is he like this? Erica just couldn't understand, "Why?" she asked, "You clearly never want this marriage,"

He cut her off before she could said more, "I was before, but not anymore. You know me better than anyone else, can't you see how regret I am now for letting you go through all that."

"But, I just don't understand why you want to continue this marriage, you seem to hate me so much."

"I tried to, but not anymore. Don't you get it? Can't you see what's in my eyes right now?"

"I don't know what are you talking about? I had misjudged you before, I will never sure in reading your feeling anymore." She turned her gaze away. "Just spilt it out, Arnold! Stop beating around the bush! This is just not like you at all." She stood up and focused her sight on his eyes.

Arnold stood up, "FINE! If that's what you want. Although I much prefer to wait for while before I say this out loud. But look like the sooner I spilt it out the better it would be." He approached and grabbed her shoulder. Holding her chin, he forced her to look straight to his eyes. "You better listen carefully because I am pouring every ounce of my feeling out here." She held her breath, didn't know what to expect. "I love you." he said those three words with all his heart, the emotion in his eyes was so intense yet she could feel his pain, like he was afraid she won't believe him. Silence filled the room, she just stared at his eyes, didn't know what to do or say and every passing second made him more nervous.

She still remembered every word he said a year ago, crystal clear like it was just a second ago.

I never love you.

I will never really accept you as my wife. NEVER EVER!

Then, a couple of weeks after that, when he picked her at her hometown.

I will never love you. Stop wishing for that! Friendship is the only thing I could offer.

Those hurtful word flashed back in her mind, and she just couldn't let it go. They stuck with her even during his sweet attitude period. She never stopped wishing at that time, but now she had given up. She was confused, What's happened? Why? she thought.

"It's because of the incident." he answered. He explained when he saw her bewildered expression, "You maybe thought you said it in your head, but you actually whispered it out." He caressed her cheek softly, "That shooting made me realized how important you are to me, that I had fallen for you from the very beginning, I just refused to admit it. Every time I felt a glimpse of it, I denied it cause I thought you were a gold digger. After I learnt that you aren't, I had realized I am falling for you. But, a woman I loved in the past turned out to be a gold digger. That's why I was afraid if you know my feeling, you would become one."

Her eyes widened by shock. She knew that woman was Cameron Biston, and she knew he still loved her, despite his cold attitude. She repeated his words in her head, and later asked in confusion, "What I have done to make you jump to that conclusion about me?"

"I had long acknowledged women as gold diggers. They threw themselves on me for the money and fame I could provide. I had suspected you as one, and when you never refused any of my gift, that just added oil to my fiery thought!" he answered with regret.

Erica was speechless, her guess was right all along, "But I thought you sincerely gave it to me, that's why I hesitated to refused any of them. I thought you want me to get used to those luxury stuffs, I was so blind that I was willing to do anything for you as long as you love me. I never thought they meant to be a test." She said in bewilderment after she found her voice.

Arnold face-palmed himself. "God, what a mess!"

She just looked at him in sorrow, how could he think of her like that, so it was a misunderstanding from the beginning. What he said earlier finally sank in her and she couldn't hold her tears back anymore, "How could you do this? I don't need this kind of treatment! How dare you think you can walk me around like that!"

When he looked at her in confusion, she continued, "Just because I saved you, I don't need you to said you love me back! I don't need this kind of repayment. How could you think I wish to use your gratitude  for something like this?! You are insulting my sacrifice."

He finally got it, she thought he said all of those thing earlier because he felt in debt with her. "It's not like that," he tried to explain but she wouldn't let him.

"No, don't! Don't try to explain your action, I already have enough of it." She paused, she wiped her tears and said, "If you really want to repay me, find a way to make our divorce happen as soon as possible."

"NO!!!" he shouted . The devastation on his face surprised her. "Please!!! I will grant any of your wishes but not this. It will kill me if I divorce you."

Erica almost succumbed on his pleading. But those heart breaking experiences she had so far held her back, instead she said, "Then, you are lying! If you do love me, you will wish for my happiness and imprison me in this loveless marriage won't make it happens."

"It's not loveless anymore. I" he tried again. But when he saw she shook her head, he went silent.

"I don't want to hear anymore. Whether you do it or I will do it myself. Sometimes action speak louder than words, you know?" With that she walked up stair, leaving Arnold devastated.

He sat on the couch, hands on his face. God, did I really lose her? What should I do now! I never thought my own words would bite me back big time. Seem like I always say things that I will regret in the future. How to make this right? She don't even want to listen to my explanation. Then her words flashed in his head, action speak louder than words. He finally knew what he should do, but he didn't know if he was able to cope up with it. However with the determination to win her heart all over again in the end, he went to his study to make the necessary calls.

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Author's Note!

Actually, this chapter had been sitting around for a long time. I had written it when I was finishing fifth chapter. So as an apology for my delay, let me give it you guys. But, I can't guarantee fast update for the final chapter.

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