Alone in Marriage

Chapter Sixteen

"I love her!" he said that out to himself. He was stunned. He thought he would never feel like this again for the rest of his life. What happened in the past flashed in his mind, which made him hesitated to decide what to do about this feeling. Should he accept it and confess to he, or kill it once for all before it come to no return. He was confused, he knew Erica was different from 'that person' but a big part of him still couldn't let go of the past. So, he decided to hide this feeling from her, the people around them maybe noticed but he would never confess to her. This was for the best, he didn't have the courage to love her.

"Arnold!? Are you okay?" Erica's voice snapped him out of his deep thought. She had asked these words multiple time that she really started to worry that he was feeling unwell. Another possibility was there were things that occupied his mind, about personal matter or work she didn't know, one thing for sure, he couldn't share it with her.

He raised his head and met her eyes. Her face clearly showed her worry. I did nothing worth her affection. He kept staring at her to the point that she felt embarrassed, though she saw guilt in his eyes, but there was still some warm in there.

He took a deep breath and stood up, He approached her and grabbed her hand, "Let's head back!"

Along the way she kept staring at his profile. Even though, he had started to smile more, there was still something that made him hesitated to fully let the past go. Some times she really wanted to know what had made him lose his smile years ago. She wanted to asked but, every time she would hold it back. Would he answer if she asked, she questioned herself each time and in the end she would just shook her head, I don't have the right! She would say that to herself. It hurt her, but that was the truth that she had to live with.

He turned his head and their eyes met. Both of them were at their vulnerable state, that the other one could see their real feeling. Their widened their eyes in disbelieve, but regained their composure in short time. The reaction was so quick that what they saw seem like a illusion, a illusion that was created from their inner desire. They gave each other a smile and joined their family.

One had been hurt deeply in the past that he lost his believe in love, the other had been hurt multiple times that she didn't even dare to think he would love her back.

Both of them had conflict in their heart that made them unable to see clearly this love, but the other could see it crystal clear. For the remaining of the night, Arnold's eyes never left Erica. His brother could feel something was wrong with the way he was looking at her, it felt as if he was hurting inside. They wanted to know what was going on but both of them were grown-ups, it wasn't their place to interfere though they were family. He would seek for them, when he need second opinion. So their would just leave them alone for now.

Nothing was different though they had welcomed a new year. Everything remained the same when Arnold and Erica were back at their house. It's like any progress they made had gone. Erica felt Arnold put a certain distance between them, he still acted around her but he adverted her eyes most of the time. It confused her, because he wasn't someone like this. She wanted to ask but never found the right time.

This condition pulled till the end of January, Erica finally made up her mind to ask him. It was Sunday and they went to do their monthly shopping. After they finished, when they was loading the groceries in the car, someone called out to Arnold.

Both of them turned their head toward the source, Erica saw a women around twenty two or three. Her wavy blonde hair was let loose, framing her heart shape face. Her green eyes sparkled with what Erica called ill intent. She frowned, then, she saw Arnold stiffen. Who is she? And who is she to him? What kind of relationship they had?