The Boy In Love // THG Peeta's POV

The Unease

I awoke with a distinct feeling of unease rooted deep in my chest. I'd jerked awake as if from a nightmare, my legs hopelessly entangled in the silken sheets, but when I searched my memory for whatever night terrors had caused the feeling, all my limited recollections of the night disappeared. In their wake, I was left only with the disorienting tinge of disquietude; the kind that makes you look over your shoulder constantly, and sends hair raising tingles up your spine.

I cast my mind back wildly to try and force my myself to remember the nightmare, as if that would help alleviate my anxiety, but the endeavour was akin to trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. The more I searched for the memories, the further from my grasp they seemed.

Giving up, I exhaled forcefully and raked my hands through my hair. After some serious manoeuvring to untangle my legs from the wad of blankets, I hopped into the still impressive tiled stall and programmed a simple shower into the large panel of buttons. Ignoring the unease at the forefront of my mind, I turned my thoughts to a much more pleasant subject- last night.

A smile inadvertently took over my face as images of wind whipped raven hair and the sounds of hushed conversations came to mind. Despite the sombre tone the night had taken, I was still positively beaming over having spent so much time with Katniss all the same.

As insane as I probably sounded, I tossed my inhibitions aside and let out a bubbly laugh. That was the third time I'd actually laughed to myself since arriving at the Capitol. Maybe I am going crazy. I shrugged, too giddy to be bothered.

Once I was dry, I discovered that an outfit had been left for me at the front of the wardrobe, tight black trousers, a long sleeved burgundy tunic and leather shoes. I put it on, leaving my blonde locks unkempt simply out of laziness. 

Dressed and ready to do, well, whatever it is we were doing today, I found myself without anything to occupy my time. I waited for instructions, but after only a few minutes of nothing I succumbed to the boredom and resolved to go find some food.

Just as I stood to leave however, I heard a harsh knock on my door. I pulled it open to find quite a sight- Haymitch, sober and well dressed in a pair of grey slacks and a navy waistcoat though his hair was still as ratty as usual. "Morning Peeta," he said, a one sided smirk playing on his lips. "How are you this fine morning?"

I rubbed the back of my neck as he hovered in the doorway. "I'm well enough. Apprehensive."

Haymitch nodded, rubbing his stubble. "Quite understandable." He paused. "I spoke to Cinna last night. It was quite...illuminating."

I stiffened. I suppose I always knew my secret wasn't really mine at all, but it was a bit of a shock to hear something so personal to me spoken about so openly. "Was it?"

"Indeed it was. Take a walk with me?"

"Umm, of course," I managed to splutter. "Where to?"

"I thought I'd show you the roof."

I nodded. So our discussion was not for all ears. "Alright. Cinna already showed me, but it's so lovely I wouldn't mind going again."

Haymitch smiled at me and made a sweeping gesture with his arm, beckoning me from my room. "Excellent." He escorted me to the now familiar rooftop garden of sorts, the cool morning air filling my lungs and jerking me awake. We took a seat on the same stone bench where I'd divulged my secret to Cinna and where Katniss had told me her haunting tale.

Haymitch crossed his legs, peering at me intently. I shifted slightly under his scrutiny, but remained calm. If this was his play, so be it.

Finally, Haymitch spoke. "So Cinna told me some interesting things."

I shrugged, though I knew exactly what he was referring to. "Yeah?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about."

I blushed and looked down at my hands. "Then do we really need to do this?"

Haymitch grinned. "I like to hear things from the horse's mouth, so to speak. That way I can tell if the horse is lying."

I sighed. Well, I'm going to have to confess to the entire country soon, if I can't pluck up the courage with an audience of one, then Katniss and I are as good as dead. I took a deep breath and let the words tumble out. "I am in love with Katniss Everdeen, I have been since the moment I laid eyes on her. No matter what, I'll do everything and anything it takes to keep her safe, which means getting her out of that arena alive. That good enough for you?"

Haymitch raised an eyebrow. "I gotta say, kid, you're either telling the truth, or you're the best liar in the world. Your presentation was a tad aggressive, but we can fix that in time for the cameras."

I nodded, feeling a bit raw from my confession. "So can you really help me save her?"

Haymitch shrugged. "I can sure as hell try. The Capitol will eat this up. I can see it now: District 12's star crossed lovers. I just hope our dear Miss. Everdeen can play her role.

I winced at the reminder that my love remained unrequited, turning my gaze to the glittering horizon. A role. That's all this would be to her, a script to follow so she could be the star crossed darling in the hearts of the Capitol. "Yeah, me too."