The Evolution of Reese Lavek ♔ GLEE S1

19- Magic Panties

You couldn't go ten feet in this store without running into some poster of a stick figure model with her hair billowed up to look like cotton candy, whilst she wore two little lace things that covered the dirty bits. There was a reason I never went shopping at Victoria Secret; I was surrounded by pom pons, frills, and pink. Too much pink. It was like the Cheerios' locker room, but on steroids.

"Do people actually find this stuff attractive?" I asked as we went through the racks. Rachel picked up a pair of cheetah print panties... but they had a hole in the middle of the crotch.

"These ones are ripped, how could they sell these?" she asked.

"On purpose. They're supposed to be crotchless," I snapped them away from her and flung them off to the other side of the room. 

"I don't like this," she said.

"Neither do I. I feel like a gremlin in the apparel section at Bloomingdales'," I said.

"No, I mean the Glee Club. Is it just me, or does it seem that the longer this division prolongs, the less chance we have to place at sectionals?" she asked.

"No, you're right. I mean, when we were together, we have Mercedes hitting the high notes, Mike Chang can dance, and if we're being honest -- and if you tell anybody, I will deny it -- but I miss Kurt and his fashion advice," I said, "With just us, we're  a group made of four white kids and two Jews. We're like a cheap caricature version of the Brady Bunch," 

"This is all my fault," she shook her head, "If I hadn't tried so hard to motivate everybody into practice, then none of this wouldn't have happened," she said.

"You just did what you thought was right," I said, "Honestly, I don't blame you. We were all kind of complacent in practice,"

"I just feel like somebody decided to shut the door on our heads instead of listening to what we had to say before deciding to punish us," she said.

"Don't you read the news? Doping is a big practice in sports, it's even spreading into show business. I mean, Ashlee Simpson can't get onto a stage unless she's got smack burning her brains out," I said, "All we can do is try to stick it out, you know?"

"I just know that we sound better as a large group then divided into sections," Rachel then picked up a pair of lace lime green panties and held them up to her waist.

"What do you think of these?" she asked. My lips pressed into a flat line.

"You planning to model for him? Who cares what they look like? So long as they're skimpy and small," I said.

"But Jacob knows me, and if I get a pair that are too skimpy, then he'll know that I'm playing cheat with him. But if I give him a pair of granny panties, he'll just be hounding me for a picture of me in a negligee. They have to be sexy, but not too sexy, because everybody knows how reserved I am about showing off my body. They should be tasteful, and classy; good enough that when a boy sees them, he'll want to rip them off me and throw me down on the bed. But if they're too sexy, I run the risk of having him pull me into an alley and grope me like a fresh loaf of Wonder Bread. But not sexy enough, and he's sure to go to his blog and make that post!" 

I just stared at her in utter disbelief, both at how she was able to do that ramble all in one sitting, and how she could possibly manage to keep her thoughts straight after it... because I barely understood a word she said.

"Are you done yet?" I asked.

"Yes," she nodded back.

"Great! Then get the green panties and let's blow this sex-toy stand," I started to turn on my heel.