CALLA

54: Dark & Light

I didn't know how long I've been driving and where I was heading. All I could think about is the past: the resentment, the jealousy, the sadness, the hatred, the anger, and the desperation. For years, I had been able to live my life without any of those ugly feelings. But one morning with my family - one moment with Eli Frye, all those emotions rushed back uncontrollably.

I had been so lost in thoughts that I don't even see the cliff up ahead. Immediately, I hit the brakes and stopped the car before it hit the side rail. My heart beat fiercely while I slowly set my forehead against the steering wheel.

"Silly, silly girl"

Her voice echoed in my mind like a forgotten dream. Holding back tears, I felt a rush of shame. I had already been given a second chance to live. Instead of treasuring my life, I nearly destroyed it again.

Today is my 19th birthday. The sky is blue, the cloud is white, and the sun is shining bright. Five years has passed since my reawakening and I have lived every day without regrets. Whatever I wanted, I've worked hard for it. Whatever I needed, I used my own strength to obtain it. I took responsibility for my own decision and enjoyed every choice I've made.

I've stayed clear of my sister because I was afraid of the darkness she makes me feel. I've stayed clear of Eli Frye because I was afraid of his light that burns my reasoning. I've tried to run away from the two existences only to circle right back to them.

"Silly, silly girl"

Now I understand it's useless for me to run. Learning to let go also meant learning to move on.

"Violet Calla Lily... I walked by in the dark... dizzying scent... "

My hand lifted and touched my lips.

I am but a simple flower...

END of CALLA Book I