A Slayer With Wings

Six

We decide to go through the Green Sea and the Blue Woods, because nobody wants to die in vain if the plan doesn't work.

"But why three pairs? Why not two trios?" asks Evangeline.

"A pair would be easier to hide than a trio," explains Finch, and Trixie nods.

"A trio would stand a better chance in a fight," Evangeline answers swiftly. "You know Shirams are defined as a 'servant of Satan'. They can be any creature. It's hard for us to look for them. I think a trio would be better."

"The All-Father named Trixie as the leader. She will decide."

Finch-I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-your-surname-is, what kind of debate teacher did you hire?!

"Trix, what do you say?" asks Finch.

Trixie smiles insolently. "Three duos will be fine."

Trixie is with Finch. No objections there. Had I been given a choice, I'd choose to be with Kevin, but Kev wants to be with Goodie, and Goodie's feelings are mutual. Which leaves me with Evangeline Fucking Youngspire.

We walk past the gate, and fly into the human world, to a place humans call Auckland, and a pier called Downtown Terminal.

"Wings folded, everybody?" I call.

Everyone else nods.

We look at a board signalling all the ships. There will be two ships departing to Green Country's Green Pier via the Green Sea (shitty names!) tonight, at 7:35 p.m. and 10:20 p.m. respectively. Another would depart tomorrow morning at 3:00 a.m.. Trixie and Finch sneak on the one at 7:35 today, and Kev and Goodie the next. Which means Evangeline and I are set for dawn.

We all split up, promising to call each other.

Evangeline turns to me. "Got any human money?"

I look in my wallet, but it's full of golden coins (angels' currency). I look in a chest I carry along, and I ask Evangeline for a hand. I dig out wad after wad of cash.

"This plastic bag is full of Euros, humans use them in Euroland, right?" I set down a small plastic bag with about fifty Euro dollars.

"No, you idiot, it's used in Europe!"

Shit.

I look over my shoulder to see a blonde, fat human with her daughter.

"Thanks, ma'am," I say. "Now these are from a place called France, these are MAD-"

"How is money mad?" asks Evangeline, playing with her hair and acting coy.

"MAD. Moroccan Dirham."

After about ten minutes of currency aroubd the world, I finally find a small pouch of New Zealand dollars.

"Ooh!" Evangeline squeals while I shove all of the other money back into the box. "There's got to be a hundred dollars in here! Can we get something to eat?"

I sigh. "No."

Evangeline does her trademark thing.

Damn you, puppy eyes.

"Fine."

"Thank you!"

"No flowers!" I shout, before she gets any ideas about a date.

Evangeline grins sheepishly at me. "I wasn't going to, but since the idea was yours..."

Fuck.

We run around the pier, me acting like a hooligan, her acting like a three-year-old kid. We buy some dinner (liver and onions). Why am I even surprised that Evangeline bought us something that I hate?

We find a bench and eat on the pier, watching the sunset.

"The time?" Angel asks me.

"What's the magic word?" I tease.

"Sugar Pie?"

Fuck puppy eyes.

"Twenty minutes to seven."

"Birdie and Puppy Girl should be kissing somewhere by now."

Yeah. Evangeline gives everybody nicknames. Kevin is Kev. Goodie is G'win. And I'm Orsie. Or Sugar Pie. Frankly, I prefer Sugar Pie. It's delicious.

"So...truth or dare?" she asks.

"Dare," I say. I have no regard for "consequences".

"Kiss me."

I've been given enough field agent training to not act surprised, so I don't. Because really, Evangeline is so predictable!

"Oh my gosh," I say, keeping my voice monotoned, and as sarcastically as possible. "I am so shocked right now. I cannot do this. I am dying. Save me. Tell my girlfriend that I love her."

"Wait..." Angel grins at me evilly. "Sugar Pie, you never told me you had a girlfriend. What's her name?"

"More like a pengirlfriend," I lie swiftly. "She's a human, and lives in a place called Peru. We write each other love letters."

Evangeline smirks. "Very convincing, Sugar Pie. How does she address your letters?"

"Huh? I don't understand."

"Where does she address them to?"

"Headquarters."

"What's her name?"

"No. She has her privacy."

"Won't you keep a letter or two with you?" Evangeline looks confused. "Or write her a postcard or something? I've never seen you write to her or phone her, and your handwriting is terrible."

"Yeah, terrible," I snap, pushing a huge wad of fried onions into my mouth. Evangeline grins while I choke. "Terrible for a Stupid Guy Competition. Did you enroll yourself, and tried to put my handwriting on it?"

In response, a lumpy piece of duck liver flies at me. I duck the duck, no pun intended, and yell at her. "Evangeline, you-"

"Motherbleeping little piece of bleep," she finishes for me. "I know that quote by heart."

I sigh. "You are a bitch, Evangeline Youngspire, you are a bitch."

While passerby glared, Angel smiles. "Save your breath, Sugar Pie, no need to say the same sentence twice."

"Wow, that is so helpful. Wow, that is so helpful."

Evangeline grins. "Oh, aren't you sweet."

"Yes, I am as sweet as a honey-dipped, chocolate-sprinkled lollipop. Yes, I am as sweet as a honey-dipped, chocolate-sprinkled lollipop."

Angel elbows me, and I flail about, but I don't fall off my bench. "Shut it."

"Okay, Angel Cake. Okay, Angel Cake."

Angel gets out her pack of knives. "Fine! You asked for it. Time to get dirty."

Huuh.

Can I admit something?

The first time she tried that trick on me, I screamed like a fucking girl, ditched my bag and ran for my life, straight into a lake. She'd laughed so hard.

But this time, I know better. I'm not fooled.

I grab my sickle. "Oh, if it's time to get dirty, it's time for me to cleanse you- I'll drain every drop of your filthy blood!"

Angel smiles. "Yay. No more saying everything twice."

"What do you mean? What do you mean?"

Evangeline shrugs it off and brushes back a stray strand of her hair. "Back to the point. Are you going to kiss me or not?"