A Slayer With Wings

Seven

Okay, fine, fine, FINE!

Let me make something clear, okay?

Alright, Evangeline and I kissed, and no, WE DID NOT HAVE FUCKING SEX, SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS UP, BATSHITTY PERVERTS WHO ASKED THIS QUESTION, WE ARE NOT COMPLETE SLUTS!

It was just because of a dare. Just because of a stupid dare. And it was totally awkward.

We both had to lean in close. She smelled like water lilies. I hate water lilies. They remind me of...I'd rather not say it.

It took ten long seconds for me to brace myself, and we just kissed for about zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zerozero zero zero zero zerozero zero zero zero zero one second.

Now, we've set ourselves up for the night. We're taking turns to sleep on our bench. I take first shift until midnight, and she takes second shift until two thirty in the morning.

"Sugar Pie," she whispers.

"Yum," I reply.

"Honey Bun."

"That'll make you fat."

"When will you answer to me?"

I sigh. "Try my real name."

"Orson?"

"No, I will not answer to that."

"You just did."

"Fuck ya."

"Is that slang for f...uh...never mind."

Just then, my phone starts ringing.

"Orson Goldbloom speaking."

"This is Kev."

"Oh hey, Kev."

"We just sneaked on, without raising suspicion. It's great. How about you guys?"

I sigh. "Mind if I rant, bro?"

"Sure, Orsie."

"Don't call me that."

"Anyway, Goodie wants to talk to you."

Yippee. "Goodie?"

"MISS ORSIN!" Goodie yells into the phone so loudly that even some old fatty at the other end of the pier winces.

"Yes?" I ask, once the ground stops shaking.

"TELL ME A STORY!" he yells.

"Goodie, shush!" I say hurriedly. "You're getting attention, and that's the last thing we need!"

"STOOOOOORY!" he's shrieking like that Otep Shamaya bitch.

I hang up and facepalm. Goodie, despite being a role model in Junior Flappers School, the head of the science club and the top student in his class, doesn't learn.

My phone rings again. "Hello?"

"STOOOOOOOOOORY!"

"NO YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT!"

Bleep. I hang up again.

Ring ring ring.

"Hello?"

"I WANT A STOO-"

"No, no, no!"

Bleep.

Ring ring ring.

"GOODIE, YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD, JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY LIKE ANY GOOD LITTLE SLUT YOUR AGE WOULD DO!" I roar.

Silence.