A Broken Act

Act IX

Please read the note that I wrote in the end. It is long (and by long I mean very long) but it would be really appreciated.

This is angsty. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you.

Angst is good.

Enjoy.

*****

Tears blurred my vision as I kept on running. My feet had a mind of its own, leading me through the halls without my mind thinking of a destination. All that's running inside my mind was run, run, run. Get out of this place, get away from the person who hurt me in the past and even in the present.

I passed by people who were standing in the hallway. There were something in their eyes as they watched me passed by them—curiosity, worry, even pity. I hated the look they gave me, I don't need any of that, but I couldn't stop to tell them to keep their prying eyes off me. I need to get out, to escape this suffocating place, to hide from his destructive presence.

So I ignored them. I kept on running, my feet heavily padded through the floor, slightly echoing in the silent place. It was starting to get harder to breathe, my lungs constricting as it tried to get enough air. My legs are already tired, getting heavy and feeling more like lead in each step I take. I chose to take the stairs instead of the elevator, knowing that waiting for the lift to arrive would give him more time to get to me.

Because if it's Eren, I knew that he would come for me, whether his presence was needed or not.

In this case, it wasn't, but it's not like he'll listen. If there was one word to describe Eren, it would be stubborn.

What I said about everything going downhill after he left, it was true. After I left—after he let me leave—I didn't know how to carry on. It may sound and seem absurd to others, but it's the fucking truth, no matter how much I hate it.

Eren and I grew together. We spent majority of our lives connected by the hip. Wherever Eren was, I was also there. We were rarely seen to be alone. He took every 'first' that you can give someone—first hug, kiss, crush. He was my first boyfriend and the one I gave my virginity—the only one I ever had sex with.

I thought that we're gonna be together until we grow old. That he'll be my first and last. We'll graduate high school, go to college, pursue our acting career, work and get married. Maybe even adopt a child or two. But everything I planned were thrown outside the fucking window when Eren decided to replace me.

It has been hell. Eren has been a part of everything I knew. He was the one who served as a pillar of my life, leaving everything in crumble and dust when we broke up. It felt like I was once again a child—lost and inexperienced, having no one but myself to rely on. That was when I discovered how much it sucks to have your world revolve around another person, only for them to leave you.

My view at the world changed when Eren was taken out of my life. What used to be bright and full of life became dull, lifeless, cold. Everything became bleak and pointless. Despite that, my mother, Kuchel, had always been by my side through it. She was the reason why I didn't kill myself, which I was very tempted to do in my desperation to escape the past, the pain that Eren had caused me. She was the one I leaned on to, the only right thing in a world of wrongs, a safe haven.

However, life seemed to like fucking hurling shits towards me. Sur-fucking-prise, a year after Eren and I broke up, my mother died. The cause of death; cancer. She was unlucky enough not to have her diagnosed while it's still early enough to be treated. The cancerous cells spread out rapidly and before we even knew it, she only has a few months left to leave.