Loss

CHAPTER 1

Growing up we did everything together. we went the park together, played dolls and dress up, but, but now it feels like I'm not who I use to be. I'm not the smiling little girl anymore. I feel like half of me is missing, and it's half way across the country.

My name is Cassandra. I have black hair, and some of it is died blonde. I have green eyes, and a small figure. I recently went into a depression stage. well not recently, it started 4 year ago when I had to leave my best friend Lydia, a strawberry blonde with brown eyes and a slime figure, behind in LA. I moved to New York, the big apple, well it's not so big from a window in your room. I stay inside most of my days, I don't go out, I don't eat a lot, and I rarely talk to my family, except my brother, he's the only one who understands what I'm going through.

When we left LA, I had nothing wait for me in New York, nothing but a small room. I read books a lot, and I can be very talkative, but only with my brother. I'm on independent study from school because if my depression, so I'm home no matter what. my mother is trying to talk to me and mend the bond she broke when she dragged me here, but I feel like I can't forgive her, ever. my dad, we make small talk, well he asks and I must give him a sentence with at least 5 syllables in or I get in trouble. But with my brother it's different, he knows, because he too had a best friend that he had to leave behind, a least he can cope with the change. we talk and laugh in the mornings and night. The unfortunate thing about this small apartment is I have to share a room with Caleb, yep that's my brother, he's 2 years older than I am, but we are the oldest. I have a younger brother, josh, he's 7, and my youngest family member, my sister Lexi, she's 5 and home schooled so I spend a lot of time with her. So that's my life, I don't get out and I'm depressed in a house full of people I don't usually associate with.

And some people think they suffer.

"Hey Casey." Caleb says, that's what he and Lexi call me, it's for them only.

"Hi Caleb."

"How are you? did you eat today?"

"Well I'm depressed and I had a pop tart."

"Sounds like another start to the week."

"You have no idea."

"Casey I know this has been hard for you," he says, "but I want you to come to my counseling class with me."

"Why? nothing can change what happened to me."

"Casey, please. For me?"

"When's the next class?" I say letting out a sigh and a small smile.

"Tonight. was that a smile."

"Maybe."

"You should do that more often, a smile looks good on your face. Now get ready."

"Right now?"

"Yep, it takes like a half hour to get there, so let's get moving, chop chop!"

"Uh fine." I say as I stand up. I pull on faded skinny jeans, and a black shirt, with a thin jacket. I slip on some shoes, first time I have worn shoes in, let's see, 2 years now? Yeah. I walk out and we get in mom and dads car, the car ride is silent, I can tell Caleb doesn't like it's so I turn on his favorite station. I hear mine and my best friends song on.

"Oh Casey we'll just turn it off."

"No leave it on." I say as I grab his had to pull it away from the radio. after the song long live, we listen to fun music and sing along, I can't hide a smile so I just let it show.

Before I know it, we are his counseling. I freeze and he pushes me along. we walk in and he sits with his new friends, I however see no place to sit other than next to some guy who looks scary. a lady walks in.

"Hello everyone, and thank you for coming." she say. she looks at me. "oh hello, you must be new. my name is Victoria." I shake her hand and decide to speak.

"Cassandra."

"Oh what pretty name." She says. she walks to the middle of the room, and says, "Everyone we have a new member today, her name is Cassandra, please say hello everyone."

I hear a hi from everyone but the guy next to me.

"Hi." I squeak back, I'm not a very good public talker, I guess that kinda thing happens to you when you sit In a room for around 2 years.

The meeting drags around slowly and I don't pay attention to most of the people talking, but I look at the center of the room.

"Wonderful share Renée." Victoria says with no excitement my in her voice. "T, would you like to share?"

The name T, catches my attention, who could be named T? As it turns out, it was the scary guy sitting next to me.

"Do I have to?" he asks, his voice is kind of deep, but it's not a deep, deep voice.

"Well we want Cassandra to get to know everyone."

"I will if she will."

"Cassandra, you wouldn't mind would you?"

Everyone looks at me, and I feel heat rush into my cheeks. "uh, no I don't...."

"T?"

"I didn't think she'd actually agree to do it!"

"T, you said you would."

"Alright, fine." he starts, " I lost my mom."

"That's all I get?" I blurt out. I feel a hint if regret.

"Yeah, that's all you get."

"Ok fine." I start, "I lost my best friend."

"That's all we get?" he teases

"Yep."

After that we are done. As walk up 'T' catches me, and turns my shoulder.

"Hey!" I say angrily, grasping my shoulder, he had a strong grip.

"Sorry." he says, he ovibously doesn't care.

"What was that in there?" he asks, to curious.

"What do you mean?" I say backing up, adding space between us.

"I mean with the whole, I lost my best friend thing? no one gets that but hurt over a simple best friend."

"Look you wouldn't know! I didn't lose my best friend, I lost my sister! that what she was to me! you don't under-"

"Don't tell me I don't understand. I lost my mom, she's the only person that actually cared about me."

"Well I'm sorry." at that I walk away. I feel bad now. he lost his mom and his dad doesn't care, he has to be depressed to.

"Hey Casey, what was that about."

"That?" I say pointing to the spot where he stopped me. "he was confused why I was so sad because of the lost of my best friend."

"Nothing else?"

"Nope." I say popping the 'p'.

We drive home to loud music and crazy big head aches. when I get back to my room, I quickly change back to my pj's and crawl back into bed with a smile on my face.

Maybe this could actually help me.