Loss

CHAPTER 9

I'm dreaming. I know I am. I dream that me and Lydia are hanging out, with her boyfriend and my old one. I look around and we are in an alley way. I don't see our boyfriends, but I see two men and the just take Lydia. I scream but another one grabs me so I can't move. I watch them kill her. They cut her throat open and throw her in front of me. I fall to my knees and I can't breathe.

I wake up and I'm choking, unable to get air. I still choke, and Im losing oxygen fast. I wake up Caleb who sees me and picks me up quickly. he gets in the car, and starts to drive, I'm guessing to the hospital. I can't see anything and the corners or my eyes are turning black. I feel my lungs working hard, and I can barely see anything. Finally, I black out.

I wake up 5 days later in the hospital. My parents, and brothers and sisters are there. I realize I have one of those cup things over my mouth controlling my breathes.

"What happened to me?" I asked trough the thingy.

"You had an anxiety attack that caused failure in the lungs." a nurse said.

"I had one that bad?" I ask.

"Yes. Did you have a dream or something." the nurse asks with a paper and pen on a clipboard.

"Yes." everyone looks at me. "I had a dream that me and my best friend Lydia were in an alley way and that two men killed her, and I couldn't do anything."

"Honey I'm sorry." my mom says.

"Get away from me." I tell her.

"Why do you hate me Casey!"

"Don't you ever call me Casey! You dragged me out. I'm in the Hospital because of you! Because you dragged me out, and away from my sister!" I yell through the thingy as tears rush down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing you ever do will make up for that."

"IM SORRY!"

"I don't care if your sorry."

My mom walks out and so does the rest of my family. I see T through the glass surrounding my room. I see my mother yelling at him and crying. I sit up just as he walks away. More tears run down my face. I tell the nurse to bring my dad in. I watch the nurse leave and tell dad something. he walks in and closes the door.

"What did mom tell T?"

"She just said that you could only see family right now."

"DONT LIE TO ME!"

"Okay. She was angry at you and told him you didn't want to see him anymore."

"Tell mom to get in here."

"Cassandra I-"

"TELL MOM I WANT HER TO GET IN HERE! AND I WANT YOU OUT."

"Okay. I will." he says. he walks out and my mom walks in crying.

"Why the hell are you ruining my life mom!"

"What? I'm not-"

"T is one of the only people I really wanted to see! You ruined my chance if ever seeing him again!! Your an asswhole! I wish you weren't here. Go home! I don't want you her! Leave!" I scream. she runs out crying.

I cry and replay T looking at me and then leaving. I fall asleep.

I dream that T actually came to see me. That my parents let him in my hospital room. We talked the rest of the day and he slept in my hospital bed, totally friendly though. But like all good things, it ended.

I wake up and I'm still surrounded by people but they are blurry. I hear someone say 'she's awake'. Then I hear my name a couple times and my vision comes back.

"Hi sweetie." a nurse says. I look around and all I see is doctors and nurses.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask.

"Your heart rate picked up very quickly. We started to worry when you didn't wake up."

"Oh." I say.

"But your fine. Your free to go now. A young man said he would take you home, he said he was your brother."

"Okay."

Caleb comes in. "here are some clothes." he sets them down on my bed.

After I change we quietly drive back. Caleb gets out after saying he'd meat me inside. I take the keys and drive to T's house.

Marcus opens the door. "Oh, Cassandra, hello."

"Hi Marcus. Is T home?"

"Yes, he's in his room. Come in, you can go see him."

I walk up to his room and try to open it but it's locked. I bang on the door.

"T! T it's me! Please open the door!" I yell. No answer. I bang and yell 3 more time and I don't get to talk to him.

I walk out to Marcus. "Can you tell him I stopped by?"

"Yes dear, of course I can." I leave and go home.

It's been a week since I saw, or talked to T. I can't handle it. All I do is listen to the three song I really like. They're long live, Gives you hell, and hanging on. I cry all day. I have been giving myself more scares.

I walk into the bathroom and I feel the sharp pain in my arm, I see the blood, my blood, on my hands. I pass out.