Life of a Wallflower

Part 1

Benji above

"Alex," I whimpered holding my heart. I was kneeled in the mud below me squeezing at my chest.

"You are to tell, no one of this," he growled using the Alpha Tone to enforce his command. "And remain as the Beta of the Black Alistair Pack."

"Alex... I can't..I..." I started wheezing between each word. I can't stay in this pack and around this man.

    "No Benjamin, you have an obligation to this pack," Alex said walking away. The pain was constricting my chest. I couldn't breathe or even think past the pain. I looked down at my hand as I pulled it away from my chest, there was so much blood around a mass that was throbbing in my hand.

    That mass.... my heart.

###

    "Benji!"

    I shot out of the bed looking beneath me, a bed. I realized that I was no longer in the forest, I was in my room. I looked around some more and saw that my brother was in my room standing to the side of my bed.

    "Did you have the dream again?" Liam asked sitting on my bed wiping the sweat off my face.

    "Yeah," I said heaving a sigh of relief thankful that it was over. Liam got up and went to my curtains. While his back was turned I looked down at my chest and put my hand over my heart just to check that it was still there.

    "You know Benji, you really should just find someone else. It's been two years and you have just been a shell of a person," Liam said. I looked over at him noticing how the sunlight shined through the curtains highlighting the true color of his hair, dark brown. His flat nose between his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that matched his skin tone, his dreadlocks framed his face giving him a more boxy look than the regular roundness he has. We were about the same height at 5' 7" with the same build, toned. We were both dancers as kids and now that we have put our dancing hats up we kept our shape by training with the pack. We were a little strapped with the lack of a lead warrior, but Liam and I were the temporary stand-ins so we made due.

    "I know LiLi," I said getting up. I always answer that when Liam and my friend suggest I find a partner.
I walked into the bathroom and took a shower getting ready for the day brushing my teeth washing my face and putting my wet hair in a ponytail. Once the fog cleared from the bathroom I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were an ever present gift for the last two years. Besides those now permanent features on my face, my once caramel complexion was now an ashen reflection of my once vibrant skin. My hair was a big brown bushy mane with blonde highlights. My eyes were the same dark shade as my brothers- dark brown. Though me and my brother had the same build, my muscles were a little more defined because as Beta I have to have more strength than the average wolf.

As Beta, my job in the Black Alistair pack was to do all the paperwork: finances, new pack members, deaths, etc. The Alpha's job was to make alliances, protect the pack including their well being and relations amongst pack members. This makes his presence more apparent in the pack and allows the people to feel more in touch with him, whereas the Beta was hidden behind closed doors. This plan was put in place by Alex as a way of keeping me hidden from the pack, but seeing as the lead warrior died of silver poisoning, I had to pick up some slack and help train the pack warriors and pack members. (Usually I train pack members). Now, compared to a year ago, people are more aware of me and feel more comfortable coming to me when it comes to interpack conflicts rather than their Alpha. That plan didn't pan out the way Alex wanted it to.

"Benji let's go we have a pack meeting," Liam whinnied from the hallway.

"Coming," I said walking out into my room and began getting dressed. I wore a blue button down and tan pants with dark brown combat boots trying to remain warm in this cold weather.

"Ready?" Liam asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied walking out of my room toward the pack hall.