"I can't" I sob into Harry's arms.
"Charlie, you can tell me anything you know that?" Harry whispers while he creates a pattern on my skin.
"It's too hard Harry. You won't understand, you'll run away like everyone else. People always leave." I shake with every word that comes out of my mouth. I can't give him the full details on my life, he wouldn't want to hear it . He would pity me and there's nothing worse than having someone pity me. I don't want people to look at me differently because of my sob story. I hate when people treat me special, like I'm fragile, which I am, but I dont want anyone to know that. All my life people have treated me special and I'm sick of it.
"So sorry about your mom, you dont have to do the assignment dont worry about it."
"I'll make you dinner Charlie it's okay you have a lot on your mind."
"I'll help you with homework if you need it Charlie."
'I bought you some flowers I thought you might need them."
I somehow was always the topic of discussion and whenever people saw me their faces would be full of sorrow. All the whispering would start when I would walk into a room and everyone would be careful on what they said around me.
"Yeah both her parents died, its so sad."
"She has practically no one."
"I feel so bad for her."
'I'll take you home Charlie. Come on, let's go." Blake says helping me stand up.
"I'll take her." Harry grabs my arm and opens the door for me. Blake nods and hands me my bag whiile she throws her arms around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. I want to object to Harry taking me but I can't find it in my voice to say no.
The car ride is silent at first until Harry turns on the radio and the car is filled with soft strums of an acoustic guitar. I stare out the window and admire the passing trees, watching them sway with the wind and disappear in the distance.
"What did you mean when you said everybody leaves?" Harry asks out of the blue causing me to turn my gaze away from the trees.
I pause for a moment and think of the best way to put it.
"It's like I'm cursed. I mean everytime someone comes into my life they stick around for a short while before they leave me empty handed. I have the worst luck when it comes to people because as soon as I tell them shit they run scared or die." I admit.
"Die?" Harry raises his eyebrows and glances quickly at me before returning his eyes back to the road.
I gulp. I guess I should just tell him briefly about death in my life.
"Yeah my mom died a couple years back. My dad died before I was even born so I didn't know him either." I swallow hard on my words and return back to looking out at the passing trees.
The car is filled with silence and I see out of the corner of my eye that Harry is watching me between looking at the road, almost like he's waiting for me to breakdown or something. There's already been enough tears today I can't cry anymore in front of him.
"I'm sorr-" I cut him off before he can say those familiar words I always hear when I tell people about my dead parents.
"Don't be like everyone else who feels sorry for me. You don't have to be sorry, life happens."
"I know. I just- dont really know what else to say?" he says.
"I get that alot. Just don't worry about it, I'm fine." I cross my arms in front of my chest almost like I am guarding my heart from anymore pain.
"Charlie." He pauses and I look at him to continue on, "What happened in there? What did you dream about that made you scream and cry so much?" He finally asks while we pull into the parking lot.
"It wasn't a dream, it was a flashback. I get them alot but the one I had was the worst because it was the last words my mom ever spoke to me. I usually have them about my mom when she was alive but sometimes I get them about Trey- nevermind. It's just something that has always happened to me since she died, they've never really gone away." I let out a breath that I felt I was holding in forever and unbuckle my seatbelt.
I've already told him too much so I have to stop myself before I say anything more about my mom or Trey. He looked confused when I said his name but brushed it off and thankfully didn't ask any questions about him.
"That happens to me. Sometimes they are good memories and sometimes bad but either way they make me sad because they remind me of all the times I spent with her." He says sounding a little sad at the end when he mentioned her.
I hope he continues on but I don't want to force him so I keep silent and stare ahead at empty parking spaces.
"Her name was Michelle and she was the love of my life. Long story short she was only interested in my family's money and took everything I had. My parents were so pissed off that they lost so much money that they kicked me out of the house. That's the real reason why I'm living here, because my parents are still furious at me for being so stupid when it came to Michelle. I mean I gave her everything she wanted? Why couldn't she love me the way I loved her? " he looks as if he regretted telling me all of that but I feel for him. I mean that is essentially what happened with me and Trey. I gave him so much and he took it all and didn't even give me half of the love that I gave him.
"I know exactly how you feel." I say taking his hands in mine.
'You do?" he questions looking back and forth between our joined hands and my eyes.
I nod slightly and look into his green eyes for just a moment. I don't know why but everytime I look into his eyes I feel relief in myself. Like his eyes are the alcohol that washes away all my pain and relaxes me. The longer I stare the more drunk I get.
"I should go. Um thank you for the ride and for listening I guess." I say shyly and open the passenger door.
"Hey." He says stopping me from completely exiting the car. "I meant what I said. You can tell me anything, Charlie. I might not understand everything but I'm a good listener. " He says in a comforting tone. I smile at him and close the door behind me, making sure to wave as soon as I'm outside.
I turn around but before I start walking I hear Harry's window being rolled down.
"Do you have my number?" He asks. I hand him my phone and look as he types on the keypad.
"Oh right I already gave it to you. So call me if you need something or if you ever need someone to pick out some good movies to watch." he laughs and hands me back my phone.
"I am a movie extroadinaire so if anything you should be asking me." I tease and he throws his head back a bit to laugh.
"Yeah, yeah. By the way you had a text from James." he says turning his smile into a light frown. I unlock my phone and sure enough there's a text waiting for me.
Harry rolls up his window and waves one more time before driving off with a slight scowl on his face.
I open my messages and immediately flush from James's 'Hey Beautiful' text. Partly because I am embarrassed that Harry saw it not because he called me beautiful.
Before I even have time to reply or think, I drop my phone as I see Max approaching ahead of me with a heavy smirk on his face.
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Burn // h.s
Fanfiction“You kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire. He had wondered once why love was always phrased in terms of burning. The conflagration in his own veins, now, gave the answer." She's the candle that cannot burn without his flame. He's the fir...
