Her Wish

Her Wish [Chapter 28]

Jennie’s head perked, her hopes sparking high, and her pulse suddenly racing forward at the sound of the classroom door sliding open accompanied by the soft murmurs from around her. She didn’t have to look to already know that Danny had arrived.

This is it, a voice whispered softly into her mind, as Jennie forced her legs to stretch as she rose to a standing position.

But the moment her gaze rose, her eyes lifted to meet the steady and unreadable ones of Danny, staring directly into hers, causing Jennie to momentarily freeze.

Her senses returning, Jennie quickly tore her eyes away from his, unable to endure looking into them any longer, unable to comprehend exactly what thoughts were swimming in those abyssal depths of his brown eyes.

The sight of Elie standing right at his side in the same manner she had done just the morning before caused all previous nerves and streaks of boldness within Jennie that she’d built up from the night before to vanish, crumble, and falter with a puny clumsiness.

After school, Jennie had meandered aimlessly down the streets, walking in whichever direction her feet led her without really giving it much thought. Instead, her mind was overwhelmed with ideas of what happened, what she should do, and what she, Danny, and Elie had become.

And finally, after hours’ worth of deep contemplation, Jennie had concluded that the only sensible solution would be to ask Danny and talk to him about it.

She generally dreaded confrontation, opting to merely shrink away and allow life to pass her by if that would serve to be the easier route. But already for the past few months now, Jennie had found herself breaking free of that well-established comfort zone, suddenly fighting Elie for her friendship or whatever it was that she might have shared with Danny. All those efforts would prove pointless if she gave up now.

She at least wanted to talk to him. She at least wanted to try and set things right again.

But the sight of him standing so sure, so confident, so undisturbed by the fact that Elie was just to his right, beaming proudly at the rest, caused all prior determination and backbone within Jennie to shrink back into the small and passive person she normally was, the same person everyone just automatically expected her to be.

Her insides clenched with fury, though only at herself for backing down, for allowing herself to use insecurities as an excuse. A small part of her still wanted to face the now seemingly restored apathetic Danny with her genuine feelings, taking that great risk of getting hurt.

That voice in the back of her mind still urged her to do it, still urged her to take that step out from behind her school desk and head towards Danny, disregarding every other person who may have been around them.

And somehow, out of either the restoring confidence or fear of what she might do to herself if she didn’t listen, Jennie found her feet moving, words she’d rehearsed over and over in her head from the evening before now replying for the umpteenth time in her mind, reminding her.

But as she locked eyes once more with Danny, in those very last few seconds, she turned her head and continued walking, heading past the classroom doorframe and into the hallway, walking a few steps more and before allowing herself to stop.

She drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes, and releasing it slowly.

Reopening her eyes, Jennie turned and wandered a few ways’ further down, only standing still after propping her weight against the wall in fear that the strength from within her might leave at any given time.

Coward, that same voice scolded her almost immediately after it was all over, you worthless coward!

I’ll do it next time, the weaker voice finally spoke up, now searching for redemption within her, another chance to try and try again. She had to. There was no other choice.