What The Actual Fudge

Bone Apple Teeth

In order to reach every tooth-losing child in the US (each country has its own Tooth Fairy), Gwen had been gifted with the ability to teleport. For this reason, Gwen and Too were easily able to reach King Fudge Company in downtown Boston, just before sunrise. Their plan was to sneak around, looking for any dark secrets hat might have been left out and about. They also planned to borrow - and eat - some of the fudge. In the wise words of me, "It's not stealing if you vomit it back into their toilet."

But of course, things were not exactly that simple. As soon as they entered the fudge making facility, a spotlight in the middle of the room shone directly down, revealing an elderly woman, who seemed to have eaten a bit too much of the fudge over the years. Her apron said Kiss The Cook, but "The Cook" was crossed out and replaced with "MY A**". She pressed a button, and music like you might here in a boss level of a video game started playing. "BONE. APPLE. TEETH!" she screamed as knives flew towards Too and Gwen.

The pair swiftly dodged the knives, as it was getting too light outside to teleport anymore. The ground beneath them turned into a conveyor belt, slowly pulling them towards the fiery pit the cook was on a platform over. They quickly pedaled backwards, dodging more sharp objects flying towards them. Giant metal pillars repeatedly smashed down from above.

The lady in the center cried, "Get GLOBBED" and flipped a lever, causing hot piles of melted fudge to fly out from the edges of the circular room. Too hopped on Gwen's back, who left on to the center platform in a single powerful bound. The lady panicked, waving her arms up and down, before flying away on a makeshift jetpack. Too hopped down and flicked a few controls, shutting everything down.

Jumping back on Gwen, she whispered "Hide". Gwen did this, sinking them into the shadows just before some workers came in to start the day.

Too and Gwen didn't see anything strange for the whole morning, but while the employees were on break, Gregory King walked in, talking to another man. "My mom left another mess in here last night." The president elect said. "As soon as I get inaugurated, she'll be the first deportee."

"But sir, how on Earth are you going to get that law passed, anyway?"

"That's why I'm here. To show you... this." King held up a bottle that said Top Secret Fluid No Touchy Touchy On Penalty Of Public Shaming. "Anyone who eats fudge with THIS in it will be inclined to agree with everything I say. Mass produce it, please." He handed over the bottle.

"Of course, sir." Responded the employee nervously. "I'll do that."

"Good." And with that, Gregory King left the building. 

As soon as the guy with the bottle left, Too turned to Gwen. "We have to do something about this."

Gwen replied sarcastically, "You don't freakin' say?" The demon sighed. "Hop on my back."

As soon as this was done, Gwen tracked and chased the all important vial. She found it, in the hands of the same man who had just received it, about to be poured into a Copycat 2.0.5 machine. The second it went it, its contents would be decoded and used to make much more. Gwen twisted, causing Too to fall off, and left forward. She grabbed the bottle, ripped it from the man's hands with her teeth, and swallowed it.

The poor guy started screaming in terror, and scrambled to press a red button. When he reached it, a device that looked a lot like a machine gun dropped into his hands. "Open your mouth!"

Gwen shook her head. "Mmm-mmm." She mumbled.

"Do it, dog!'

"For your information, I'm a hyen- " Gwen was cut off by strange spheres being launched into her mouth. Seconds later, the room filled with smoke.

When the air cleared, Gwen and Too saw the man who had shot Gwen running away, gas mask equipped. They also saw the bottle, which used to have the Top Secret Fluid No Touchy Touchy On Penalty Of Public Shaming in it, connected to one of the valves of the Copycat. They were too late. The serum was starting a journey that would end in the stomachs of thousands, if not millions, of Americans.