Unfamiliar

Naoidh (nine)

It turns out that things where in fact getting worse. Or at least I was opening up more to the others which I do not recommend, at all. Emotions are icky, telling people about those icky emotions was worse.

We where all in Thomas' living room, having a sleep over and playing truth or dare like teenagers. Everyone else had already been asked the dreaded question and now it was my turn. Well at least we aren't playing Twister, my mind quipped as I waited for Thomas to ask me trut-

"Truth or dare?" He asked me, as if on que. 

"Uhhh.... truth?" I answered hesitantly, I was not as prepared for the question as I thought yet I knew that Thomas could come up with some embarrassing dares.

"Tell us something about you that no one knows," he said with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Oh n- "Sometimes I miss it," I said before I could filter my words. -o, stupid stupid stupid!

"Miss what, kiddo?" Patton asked, concerned about how suddenly my mood changed. My hands where shaking and Prince must've noticed because he slowly took them in his own, the pressure grounded me and helped prevent a possible panic attack.

"Being with Depression," I whispered so quietly I wondered how anyone could hear me. But they did and the room was deadly quiet after my confession, the silence weighed my down like a weight on my chest until I was gasping for breath. My hands trembled despite being held by Roman and my mind would not stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and all the ways I had messed up.

"I mean, maybe it wasn't that bad and I'm just exaggerating it and I honestly deserved it, I made him so sad so he retaliated and it was my fault. And it wasn't, it wasn't even.. what... I'm just exaggerating it," I mumbled brokenly as I felt tears in my eyes and half-formed sobs in my throat. I ruined it, everything would probably go back to normal and they would hate me again and oh god.

"You didn't deserve any of it, and even if you are exaggerating a few details it doesn't matter because no one deserves to be hurt by those meant to protect them," Prince said as Logan stared to walk towards us. Thomas sat, unsure of what to do before following Logic to the side of the room that Prince and I where at.

"I-I-I," I tried to say, only to let out a choked sob instead.

"Hey, Anxiety, breath. Can you breath with me, please. In for four, hold for seven and out for eight," Logan said as he started walking me through the breathing exercises that he knew. I felt Prince's chest move from where I had slumped against him as he exaggerated his own breathing to help guide me. I tried to breath, only managing to inhale for two seconds before choking on my tears, but I tired again and again until I was breathing properly and he ringing in my ears had almost disappeared.

Morality and Thomas had voiced words of encouragement - "That's good kiddo, keep it up," or "You're doing so well Anx, just one more time," - throughout my attack, only falling silent once the tears had stopped falling, like a miniature storm inside a house, from my face.

"I-I'm so-sorry," I said as the last of my tears fell and the tight feeling in my throat faded.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Kiddo," Patton said as he slowly pulled my into a hug. His arms circled me, however my arms where too heavy to life - too heavy to belong to me at all - so instead I just let my body slump against his before burying my face in the crook of his neck. He rocked us slowly back and forth whilst Thomas and Roman hummed a calming song - I faintly recognised it was Once Upon a December - as my breathing evened out.

I fell asleep in Patton's arms, the last thing that  could remember was Logan draping a blanket - a fluffy purple one I would always burry myself in after attacks - over mine and Patton's shoulders.

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Whoops,, its short but its something!