The Wattpad God that fell in love with me -- Wrath of the Wattpad God

Finger lickin' good

Like all good instant bffs, a impromptu sleep-over was quickly arranged and the girls strutted off to Tiffany's house. Within the hour, the gaggle of girls sat in Tiffany's pink room, painting their nails.

"Do you think this shade of puce works for me?" The Asian girl stretched out her leg and wiggled her toes maniacally.

"Darling, you look like a dynamo in that shade. It looks exactly like squashed fleas -- it's absolutely fabulous!" The African girl replied while applying a neon puke green polish to her own toenails.

The relative silence of the chattering girls and blaring radio were interrupted when the European girl screamed "Oh-em-gee girls, this is my jam!". She promptly began twerking on the bed to "Cruise". A wild array of squealing ensued as soon all the scantily clad ladies began bumping along to the country hit.

Their deafening and shrill voices went unheard by any other occupants in the house as Tiffany's parents had safely retreated to China with earmuffs -- only the faintest murmur of their siren-like cries could be heard there.

Tiffany watched all the spasmodically dancing girls beside her and felt a wealth of emotion well up from within. She suddenly began bawling, overcome with love for her homies. Seeing her tears of love, the other girls began crying as well. Soon every face had streaks of dark makeup running down their cheeks.

"Oh girls, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to cry! I just love you all so much! You're, like, my bestest friends ever! Actually, you're my only friends." Tiffany bawled out.

The girls immediately cooed and fluttered, ineffectually trying to comfort each other. The Latina had the brilliant idea of getting several gallons of Ben's and Jerry's from the "emergency" freezer in Tiffany's basement. As she saw it, tons of ice cream were only one step in recovering poor Tiffany's self-confidence -- it was a true emergency.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sure you've got a whole bevy of friends..." The Indian girl patted Tiffany's arm. "Especially since you're such a gorgeous and talented girl."

"Really? You really think so?" Tiffany snorted her snotty nose and shovelled more B&J's into her over-stuffed mouth.

"Tiffany, look at me." The Asian girl stared purposefully at the gorging girl. "You are the sexiest girl I know! And you're super classy. You are a catch for any boy."

"Not every man..." Tiffany groused.

The girls' heads swung to face the preteen as if a invisible string yanked their noses; their mouths agape. "Wait." The Latina whispered, "You've had a boyfriend?"

A chorus of squeals ensued as all the girls begged Tiffany to spill the beans.

Hesitatingly, she put down the soup ladle filled with ice cream, "Well, there's this one guy I met online. His name is sexibuttock."

"I like him already." the European girl whispered conspiratorially to the Indian girl.

Ignoring the interruption, Tiffany went on, "But he's too good for me. And I can't ever seem to talk to him right. And now, there's that gorgeous man you girls were with... I think he's my true love. But sexibuttock is the jealous kind -- how can I tell him that it's over? That he's too good for me? That I love another?"

"Are you sure that you don't love him?" The Asian girl asked.

"Well..."

"Can we see a picture?" The African girl's question brought on a whole slew of peer pressure. Quickly succumbing, Tiffany brought up sexibuttock's Wattpad profile on her conveniently situated laptop. The girls stared with reverence at sexibuttock's profile picture.

"Wow." The Latina sighed, enamoured. "Tiffany, you can't let this man go -- he's gorgeous. Just look at that buttock."

Nods rippled across the group until each girl resembled a bobble-head doll.

"I guess I could always message him again..." Their shrill cries of consent were so enthusiastic that some llamas in Patagonia were rendered permanently deaf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The mop haired boy behind the glass was shaking his head so that his luscious brown locks bounced in slow motion.

"No, diemundsr4eva! Don't do it!" he squeaked prepubescently.

"I gave you everything and you want to waste yourself on that trim buttock? He's nothing but a buttock and I am so much more! I've got sexy hair that is just as fine as my buttock!"

He struck a pouting pose. "I will win back your love, diemundsr4eva. No one shall come between us. No matter how sexy their buttock may be."

He cast one last longing look at his love (who was still thinking about messaging sexibuttock once more) before storming away from his glass-walled prison.