The Wattpad God that fell in love with me -- Wrath of the Wattpad God

D'oh!

D’oh!

Harry’s determination peaked and he suddenly (obviously) decided to teleport himself to the Mortal World.  That was obviously no trouble for him, since Gods zap to wherever they want. However, Harry was the Wattpad God, so he could only teleport though a Wattpad browser, and that’s what he did.

“Open Sesame!”  He smirked. He was so magical that he could smirk words.

And so, following his godly smirk, the gleaming white and orange screen liquidized into a swirling portal; one that would lead him to his true love where he could jeopardize any means of sexibuttock and her becoming one, and then would make her a goddess and they will rule the Wattpad Kingdom together! 

He put his right leg in first, followed by his left – the tingling swiveled in his belly, making him emit a giggle; a sexy, manly giggle.

Slowly, he put his whole body through the gateway and as his face entered; his world became a swirling void of white. But that only lasted a mere few minutes and when he opened his eyes, his feet were perched on a tree branch, high, high above the ground.

“Oh dang it! I’ve landed in the Amazon again. That server needs fixing,” he grumbled in his husky voice that could make any woman wet as a river.

Good thing he was a vampire tonight.

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The screens blanked out for a few minutes, making Tiffany and her friends screech in frustration –- Sadly for her parents in China, the muffles were not enough and they both ended up with bleeding ears.

“Oh no! sexibuttock just came online and now…now…” Tiffany trailed off and burst into a snotty fit of tears.

All the girls circled her and cooed in sympathy. They obviously cared so much about Tiffany, since she was, after all, the best of them all. The European girl patted her back with so much love and devotion but the wheels in her noggin were spinning: she was going to make sexibuttock hers. No one could have that sweet piece of buttock but her!

Suddenly (again, damn well obviously), the screen flickered on and Tiffany’s expensive Apple laptop wheezed to life – Wattpad was working again, hallelujah! Better yet, sexibuttock was still online!

diemundsr4eva: Hullo Buttock *Shy luk*

Sexibuttock: wat u wnt b***ch.

deimundsr4eva: luk bebe, I like dnt tink shud do dis. I dnt tink ur my like tru lurv.

Sexibuttock: oh go choke on Agaricus bisporus!

Diemindsr4eva: bebe, I cnt choke on Greece.

Sexibuttock disconnected and was offline. Tiffany felt a sense of despair grow in the pit of her tummy -- she knew Sexibuttock was jealous and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt tears prick in the corner of her eyes; she hated making boys angry.

All of a sudden (get used to it), the window shattered to smithereens as Harry jumped through the window. He looked sexy, wild and like a pale goat that was ready to eat everyone.

“Who made you cry, my love?” he yelled in anger, “I will rip their head off with my bare manliness!”

Tiffany felt so much remorse that she couldn’t even speak, so she just did what any Mary-Sue would do; she fainted.

Harry was boiling with anger, steam was literally coming out of his ears and his eyes turned blood red. He took one, long whiff of Tiffany’s laptop and embedded sexibuttock’s smell into his godly brain. And he was off, with the speed of lightning, to get sexibuttock who was all the way in the Antarctic.

He was going to make him pay.