Abused, But Never Used

Ch 16: The struggles inside

Sakura slammed the door of  the medroom shut and leaned against it shaking slightly. She gazed around at the objects in the room. A desk on the right side up against a wall, a medical table against the back wall straight across from the door, and a large medicine cabinet overflowing with poisons, and antidotes of all kinds on the left wall. The akatsuki really didn't get much decor did they?

Sakura settled her gaze on the large medical cabinet in the corner of the room. She locked the door behind her smirking lightly at the clicking noise it made. Sasori would no doubt see the closed door and be forced to respect her privacy.

Sakura made her way over to the drug cabinet and rummaged around curiously wanting to check out what was in there. She did this for a few minutes until she stumbled upon a fresh batch of a poison based hallucinogen that Sasori had been playing around with. Sakura placed a drop of the substance in a microscope slide and began to figure out how to make an antidote for it because there was no matching bottle in the cabinet. Once she figured it out, she created the antidote and placed the antidote into an iv bag that she hung up. Once that was done Sakura slid into the desk chair and opened up her cloak sliding it off her shoulders letting it fall over the back of it. Sakura knew from past experience that she was going to sweat up a storm and she didn't want anyone, specifically Naruto or Sasuke, to notice what she had been up to. She could never let her boys know. They would be disgusted with her and quite possibly never speak to her again. That's how all their other friends reacted to her after they found out. Sakura didn't see the big deal. It was just to better herself. It was to make herself stronger like her boys. At least that's what she told herself every time she started to get the shakes after she had gone to long without a little something.

She rolled up her dress and pulled down her shorts so her upper thigh was exposed. Her thighs were littered with injection bruises and needle scratches.

"No! Don't do it! This is just what she wants you to do!" Inner Sakura screamed practically begging for her to stop.

"Shut up! I have to. I need it. I need it and I need it now. I can't hold off anymore. I need the high. I need to feel the pain. It'll make me stronger just like she said. Just like it did for her, for tsunade" Sakura replied to inner firmly. Tears were gathered in Sakura's emerald eyes. She filled a syringe with the unnamed poison before she slammed the syringe into her leg. She screamed throwing her head back in pain. However no one could hear because of the sound proofed rooms. Her thumb was on the top of the pusher and she began to push down. The poison flowed into Sakura's system and she let out a drugged up smile.

Using the remaining strength she had she hooked herself up to the antidote's iv which would deliver it in small doses. She wanted to make this one last for a bit. The room spun and swirled in front of her eyes. She went over the possible side effects in her head nausea, momentary blindness, vertigo, and hallucinations. This was going to be a fun little ride. Hallucinations were supposed to be fun right? Like imagining a meadow filled with flowers and deer.

Sakura flinched back as the mirage swirled into an all too familiar face. She hadn't expected the hallucinations to start so quickly or to not be a meadow.

"Sakura please don't! I know you may think she's a safe bet to train under but your wrong. You need to stay away from her Sakura. She has bad habits. She'll force those same habits on you!" Ino pleaded. Sakura punched at the air and the ghostly form of Ino dissipated.

"Shut up Ino pig. I'm gonna be strong. Strong. Strong so very strong! You'll see! I'll prove I'm not an ugly freak!" Sakura said deliriously.

Then Sakura felt a hand on her wrist and looked up to see Lee with a concerned expression. "Sakura, my cherry blossom, why are you doing this to yourself? Please this is not the youthful way" Lee pleaded his voice for once lowered in a softer tone. His eyes pleading and his bushy eye brows drawn together.