The Wanderings of a Pirate Named Zoro (Naruto + One Piece Crossover) [On Hold]

How to Train Your Tailed Beast: Akatsuki Style

I do not own One Piece or Naruto.

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Hawkeye Mihawk unconsciously struck an epic pose on the mountain above the temporary Akatsuki headquarters near Konohagakure.

 "We shall depart at dawn tomorrow."

The clatter of bones behind him signals Brook's agreement without turning around.

"Though whatever fool allowed the One Tailed best to escape..... Ought to be shot."

Several miles away, Tobi sneezes through his mask.

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"Capture the One Tail, he said." Brook mutters, still half asleep, as they run through the tree tops. "He escaped near the village. Do we not have anything else to go on?"

Hawkeye doesn't respond beyond a glare.

"Maybe," he muses, "he's expecting the One Tail to try to find his former jinchuuriki."

Hawkeye raises an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic common sense.

"Ah... is that why we're nearing the village of Sunagakure."

'Yeah. Yeah it is," Hawkeye replies sarcastically.

"Then how do we capture the beast?"

Hawkeye absently gestures toward the sealing scroll on his back. "Get some more sleep next time."

"The dead never sleep! YOHOHOHOHOH-"

"Apparently." Hawkeye groans. "But if you come up with another way to clear your mind of the afro fog clouding up your thinking, please, by all means, go ahead."

"Yohoho! A comedian among us! Perhaps we could put together a show, with lots of beautiful-"

Brook pauses suddenly and puts his bony hand to his cane. "Hear that?"

"I sense it," Hawkeye replies. "And now... I see it."

Brook strains his eyes in the direction of the muffled thumping noises.

'But wait! I don't have any eyes! YOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!'

Ah..... yes. Anway, the massive Tanuki shows itself through the clearings between trees, towering over them even at a distance. The ground shakes, the trees fly, being driven from their roots by one slight brush of his arms. The fearsome Shukaku is free to take his vengeance upon the entire world.

Only three people stand in his way.

A yellow-eyed swordsman, a skeleton, and................. a Sannin.

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The hermit sage summons a giant toad and stands before the One Tailed beast.

"Nothing in this world," he states solemnly, "will prevent me from stopping you. I WILL NOT LET YOU HARM ANYONE!"

Shukaku chuckles.

Hawkeye watches from a distance. He had heard of this man. A great power of old. To weaken the beast he would be effective, but he could not be allowed to take the One Tail back to Konoha or Sunagakure.

Brook too watches. He carefully studies each handsign the man makes, each release of chakra, trying to memorize each detail. To incorporate such deadly power into his swordsmanship would easily make him a superpower in the world. Any world.

Jiraiya and Shukaku fight a fearsome large scale battle, destroying much of the countryside. In the end, the One Tailed beast is just too reckless, too misguided, too unintelligent.

Jiraiya begins a sealing jutsu.

"Our time has come," A low voice speaks from the dark forest.

The soothing sound of the violin winds through the eardrums of all present. Slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly,

They all fall asleep.

Even the One Tailed Beast.

Except for one lone figure.

"Because dead men don't need sleep! YOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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"Wake up!"

Brook lifts Hawkeye Mihawk from the ground and shakes him roughly.

"Wha?"

"It's all ready." The skeleton gestures toward the tailed beast, trapped in a maze of black chalk drawn on the sand.

"Well then, go ahead. You don't need me for this," Hawkeye grumbles.

"I'll just use your chakra as fuel. You apparently have enough for seven people...."

The swordsman steps back suspiciously.

"Relax! It's just like using Haki! Yohoho!"

"Very well then," Hawkeye waves his hand. "Just do it."

"Sealing technique:" Brook folds his hand together, grabbing Hawkeye.

"Tailed Beast Chakra Seal!"

"No, you fool- That's the wrong jutsu- AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

As the dust clears, Shukaka disappears.

And Hawkeye find himself in immense pain with a strange seal across his stomach and a chained beast inside of him roaring to be free once again.