Aviophobia (Leonard McCoy)

8. Friends Again?

A few weeks later, Kate sat in her office finishing up her shift.  She and McCoy had fallen into a professional routine where they spoke politely to each other, but only as little as possible.  It was so incredibly painful for Kate that she knew she wasn't going to be able to take it much longer.  Today's saving grace was that she and McCoy were working different shifts in med bay, so she didn't have to deal with making awkward, polite conversation.

As she put a few files into a folder for the patients they currently had in med bay, she received a call on her communicator from Nyota, "Kate, you still at work?"

She gathered the folders together to give to McCoy when he arrived for his shift and answered, "I am, but my shift is finishing up.  What's up?"

Kate sat the folders in her lap as the med bay doors opened and McCoy walked in.  They made eye contact for a brief awkard moment as Nyota replied, "Just wanting to spend time with my long lost friend this evening.  And to see if she's talked to the second most stubborn doctor on board this ship yet."

She turned her chair away from McCoy so that her back was to him as she replied, "I'm free this evening, and I'm offended.  There are only two doctors on this ship, Nyota."

Nyota laughed and replied, "Kate, you know you're probably in the top three most stubborn people on this ship."

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head saying, "And your boyfriend is number one."

Nyota was silent for a moment before replying, "You're right, but I'm also right.  You know you need to talk to Leonard.  You won't be able to handle being so formal all the time.  That's not how you two work."

Putting her hand under her chin, Kate shook her head again as she said, "Nyota, there's not a 'you two' to speak of.  He made that clear."

She could almost see Nyota shrugging and rolling her eyes as she replied, "Regardless, you should still talk to him.  I'll see you in the lounge in twenty minutes and you're going to tell me all about it."

Kate closed her communicator with a sigh.  Nyota really was right, and that pissed her off.  Not because Nyota was right, but because she did need to talk to McCoy and they hadn't had a real conversation since he told her that relationships weren't for him.  What did she say to him anyway?  There wasn't much for them to talk about other than work.

She looked around her office once more to make sure she had everything, then picked up the files to take them to McCoy.  She closed up her office and went over to his so she could get through this awkward conversation that Nyota was insistent that she have.

She knocked on his door as she said, "Dr. McCoy, you have minute?"  He looked up at her and she felt the same feeling of nerves and butterflies as he made eye contact with her.  She wished that she was able to stop feeling for him since it was clear he didn't want to feel anything for her.

He nodded his head as he said, "Just a few, Dr. Kirk," and Kate felt the disappointment at their lack of familiarity.  She wanted to go back and never kiss him so that their relationship could be the way it was before.

She took a seat across the desk from him and bit her lip as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say, but she found herself in the same boat she was in earlier.  What do you say to the man who let you kiss him, only to reject you hours later on the same day?  There really was nothing to say.  Kate knew Nyota would be disappointed, but she just couldn't do this.  She shook her head, sat the files on his desk, and said, "Never mind, here are the files for our patients," then got up to leave his office.

She stopped in her tracks in the doorway of his office as she heard him say softly, "Kate, wait."

She couldn't describe how it felt to hear him say her first name.  It was painful and wonderful all at the same time.  And he sounded just as miserable as she had been feeling.  She couldn't let herself hope that he had changed his mind, but it did make her feel better to know that he wasn't happy with their current relationship either.