To know myself
O to the heavens, I cry!
When will the right time pass by?
The time for me to know myself,
So I could be my true self.
I want to find a way out of this darkness,
Hoping that someday I would live in happiness.
And that I kept it marked in my heart and mind,
So that true joy I will find.
To the trees that danced gracefully I talk,
While I take a peaceful walk.
Telling them happily about my everyday life,
As if they, themselves were alive.
I tell them about what happens everyday,
Not forgetting once or even a single day.
I was creating my own world, my own place
Talking, chatting, laughing with them at my own pace
We talked about those joyful times with my friends
And that I hoped, it never ends.
Yes it didn't end, but everyday I felt empty,
As if something bothers me.
It lingers through my fingers like a thin strand of hair,
This I know, I couldn’t bear.
It's a mystery that needs to be solved,
now I'm working hard for the answer to unfold.
Ah this problem is very troublesome,
As the scenery looks so gruesome.
It is the nightmare I dream all evening,
Oh how frightful the memory it did bring!
It was the vision of me standing alone,
Standing in a very devastated war-like zone.
I feel like I've lost everything,
Somehow it gave me a sting.
That painful sting was reality,
This showed me the clarity.
Of the scenery or the "future"
It was an unexpected answer.
The answer to that war was not expressing how I feel,
I was standing there like steel.
Or as stout as a statue,
Inseparable to where I was, like glue.
So if not expressing myself means to lose,
Might as well get out from my shoes.
I wouldn’t want my future to be like a war,
Isolated, fighting alone, and running afar.
I wouldn’t want to rush myself but what could I do?
I wish I was something else, iron, bronze or metal, too.
Unbreakable but heat able, still a long process,
But now it's like I'm making a progress.
O to the heavens I cry!
Am I now nearby?
Near to what we all call improvement,
Or what we call development?
Now I know I should start now, today
And tell my friends, what I want to say.
Maybe finally, this nightmare would be gone,
As fast as a bullet that left a gun.
So what could I be?
Of course I'm just me!
Though I am like a garden full of flowers,
Each that has its own beauty and colors.
As the wind whispers to your ear,
I say farewell not far but near.
Gently my voice is being heard,
Finally, I could face the world.
