windflower |haikyuu one shots|

happy 『kozume』

▲TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ▲

[Name] was the most beautiful human being. She was gorgeous, polite, generous, helpful and persevering to name a few traits. She once told Kenma that she would love to go down in history for making a change in the world, making it a better place or something like that. She would always wear a smile on her face that would cheer up any person around her.

Kenma wasn't quite sure where all that joy went to.

Once they entered their third year, [Name] became quieter and calmer. At first, Kenma thought it was just [Name] trying to grow up but he quickly began realising that she was actually far more insecure than he could have imagined. She would ask him questions about his opinion on her and she was constantly comparing herself to others. To Kenma, it seemed incredibly irrational of her because, to him, she was perfect just the way she was. He tried comforting her, telling her that she was fine, but she would just laugh him off, saying he was a kind friend.

Kenma realised that soon, [Name] stopped caring. She no longer cared about her health, her grades, her friendships--nothing. "What's the point?" [Name] would begin. "We all die anyway and it's highly unlikely that any of us will actually make a mark in this utterly indifferent universe." She would try to sound nonchalant and apathetic but there was always that underlying sense of bitterness and hurt in her voice.

[Name]'s thoughts quickly changed from "Nothing matters so why should I care?" to "Nothing matters, including me, so why should I live?" Kenma knew he should try and change her view, that thinking like that was bad for her wellbeing, but she would just simply respond that if she were to die, he would eventually get over it. She would tell him that living a purposeless life was pointless and a waste of energy and space. Kenma would continuously tell her that she's wrong--that she was not a waste of space and energy--and that she should go see someone, but [Name] would just laugh at him, as if he's said the funniest joke in existence.

Kenma told Kuroo about her deteriorating mental state once. He told him how he was worried for [Name] and how he thought that she might endanger her own life if she continues and Kuroo did try to assure him that she'll get better but was no actual help.

Then, one day, about three months into college, Kenma got a phone call from [Name] at three in the morning. Her voice was hoarse and thick and her apartment was eerily quiet. "Hey." She whispered. "I have eight pill bottles in my hand right now and it's so tempting to swallow them, so please give me a reason not to. Anything will do." Her voice broke and Kenma shot out of bed and grabbing his umbrella, the setter rushed to his friend's house.

He found the girl sitting on the ground in her kitchen, a knife lying beside her as she studied the bottles. Her usually smooth [skin colour] skin was sickly pale and her [hair colour] locks were tangled and greasy. She looked up at him, with the calmest look on her face, void of any emotion as if she'd been bled dry of them, and studied his distressed features as he turned on the lights.  Kenma joined her on the floor, taking the pill bottles out of her loose grasp. Sertraline, citalopram and fluoxetine bottles. At least she was getting some form of help.

Kenma spent that night with her, telling her about every single thing he loved about her, from her intelligence to her smile. [Name] did try to counter, saying she wasn't as clever as he thought or that her smile wasn't really that pretty but Kenma would reassure her saying that she was and that if he thought she was as worthless and as pathetic as she claimed to be, he wouldn't be here right now.

After that day, Kenma would keep in touch with her and hang out with her whenever he could until they finished college and moved in together. [Name] was steadily getting better. She began smiling more and doing the things she loved again and Kenma felt relieved to see that. He wasn't sure how they ended up together seeing as neither of them ever confessed but was glad it happened.

With his insistence, [Name] published a children's mystery book and it sold incredibly. She continued writing and writing and writing, selling children's books that were packed with adventures, light humour and underlying morals, and adults books, which were far grittier, darker and morally grey. They became her legacy and she was proud of them.

As for Kenma, he became a volleyball coach at Nekoma High School. He taught the players how to receive, block and spike efficiently and took the volleyball club to the Nationals ten more years before finally deciding teenagers were bothersome.

And the two were happy. And they will always be happy together.

☆★☆

So depression, huh?

If you guys do have anything bothering you please talk to me and I'll try to help

Sorry if this one shot is...crappier than the others, I've been in a sort of mood lately

Hopefully the next one will be a little more cheerful