No this is not a fanfiction.
Nor a short story.
Or romance novel.
It's just my life. My dumb, confusing life problems.
Please read and send me advice. I will be forever grateful. :) <3
It was probably 3am I think, I wanted to make new friends so I sent 'Hmu streaks' and a few people replied but, there was one I focused on. Let's call him Colton. I played 20 questions (not the dirty version) with Colton until 6am when I passed out. Then, the next day we continued the game and it was 1am I think and for question 19 I asked "Are we still going to talk after this?" and he said "duh, you're cool, just in case ill save question 20 for tomorrow" and he did and then we kept talking and got close.. too close 😳
One morning when we talked he said "i think i love you" and i said "hahaha sure you do boo" and he said "i get so lost in your eyes i have to use google maps to find my way out" and i said "stop!!😂" and then later that night he said "why do you have to be dating someone" and i said "what" and he said "you're literally such a cute and perfect human being" and i said "thanks but i dont think so" and he said "im serious!!" and i said "i said thank you i just didnt agree" and from then on, everything just got more flirtatious.
I met him at the mall and we hung out, only hung out. But, it was the first time in a while that I really felt happy. My boyfriend left for camp a week and a half before this happened and, he wasn't back.
I kept getting in fights with him and, I just felt distant from him. I wanted to feel wanted instead of hurt and Colton gave that to me. I caught feelings for Colton.. and the day my boyfriend got back from camp, I told him everything.
He broke up with me, and I was really upset but, I thought it was for the better. So I told Colton I was single and, I thought things with him would happen so, I went to my camera roll.
I deleted every single picture I had of my boyfriend...over 500...
I realised how happy i was with my boyfriend and told him i missed him and needed him.
He took me back in a heartbeat and, I told Colton we needed to just be friends.
I crushed Colton completely and, I feel awful about it.
Colton said that he would talk to me again when he was over me so we could be friends again.
But, I did have feelings for him.
And, I miss him. And I can't tell if i miss him friend-wise or more than that.
I feel like I need a break with my boyfriend but, the more I think the more confused I am.
I finally forced myself to talk to a friend about this... it was really hard when I didn't want to talk to anybody.
before u read, colton is coleman and braxton is brodie. idc if you know their real names at this point, not like anybody reads this
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so as of right now, i think i figured out im gonna stay with brodie and that the only reason i miss coleman so much is because i hurt him and i hate hurting people, friend or stranger, i hate it.
when i know he is okay, I'll forgive myself
but any pain i go through until then, i deserve it
