Shawn Mendes Imagines

4. Cigarette

Shawn's P.O.V

I'm on my way home from the studio. Today has been a long day. I had to record my new single, which is supposed to be the opening of my next tour, and go to an interview right after.

I can't wait to make it to the condo I share with Y/N and sit in the couch with her in my arms. I just want to feel her warmth against my body, to feel her hair unintentionally tickling my neck, and to feel her full lips on mine. She is the only way for me to take a break from the stressful day I've had so far.

I finally arrive home. I sigh out of relief and step into the lift. Once I've opened the front door of the condo, I yell Y/N's name in the hallway. I don't get any answer. I try a second time, maybe she just didn't hear me the first time.

"Baby ?! Are you here ?!" I scream.

Still no answer... It's kinda strange. She told me this morning that she had to study for her finals all day.

I decide to look for her in every single room of the condo. It's only after 10 good minutes that I notice a crack-opened patio door leading to the balcony. I step outside and see her back facing me. She's standing against the fence and doesn't seem to be aware that I'm here. Rain's dripping down her body, but she doesn't care and lets the water soak her hair and her clothes. I step a bit closer to her and I can see smoke escape from her lips.

"Y/N ?" I say slowly.

She doesn't move or say anything so I walk to her level, stopping right next to her. I rest my forearms on the fence and look at her, concern all over my face. She's staring at the skyline of the city and ignores me.

"You smoke ?" I say, surprised.

She simply shrugs and keeps admiring the view.

"I used to... Before we met." She responds without any emotion in her voice.

What happened to my girlfriend, usually full of life and happiness ?

"Baby, tell me what's wrong. Why did you start smoking again ?" I tell her as I put my large hands on her tiny ones, preventing her from taking another puff.

She sighs but doesn't answer. I feel a bit of anger rushing through my veins. I don't really like her attitude.

"Y/N, when I ask you a question, I want an answer." I say, quite rudely.

More than I expected, to be honest.

She turns her face and looks at me in the eyes. I can see some pain in her gaze, her eyes red and swollen. Tears are starting to form in the corner of her beautiful eyes. She lets her cigarette drop on the floor as her hands start shaking. Then, she buries her head into my chest as the smell of tobacco fills my nostrils. I wrap my arms around her in response and rest my chin on the top of her head. I wait for her to stop sobbing so I can listen to her.

"I-I can't handle this shit anymore, Shawn." She finally whimpers.

I furrow my eyebrows, not understanding what she's talking about.

"What shit, Y/N ? I don't understand."

"The hate ! Every time I go on social media, it's only to see mean posts about me or our relationship. Each tweet -or whatever it is- breaks my heart a little bit more. I spend entier days crying over those comments. It has been like that for months... MONTHS !"

"Why didn't you tell me about that before ? If something hurts you, I want to know it." I ask as I rub the back of her hand with my thumb.

"I didn't want to bother you with that. You already have so many things to deal with. I recieve a tone of insults per day, and it shouldn't affect me anymore, but in reality, it hurts even more." She continues.

I lift her chin up with my index and press my lips on her forehead.

"Babygirl ... I feel so bad for not noticing you weren't feeling good for so long... Don't let those comments tear you down."

"B-But you don't know what they can say... They're so rude and mean... I-I can't." She cries.

"Show me then." I say with a low voice.

She hands me her phone and I start to check her Twitter account. I search a few seconds before finding hundreds of hate comments and tweets. My eyes widen at the violence and the rudeness of the words my "fans" use. I then look at Y/N who is staring at the floor, chewing her lower lip nervously.

"I will fix that, baby. Don't worry." I say, determined to stop all that bullshit.

"No, Shawn, no ! They'll say I'm too weak to bear that alone and it will be worse. Plus, your fans will be mad at you." She almost yells in fear.

"Y/N. They aren't my fans if they hurt the person I love the most, okay ? I can't stay here without doing anything, knowing you're suffering." I state, looking deep in her eyes, my thumb brushing her right cheek.

She doesn't say anything else as I unlock my phone.

"Ok guys. I saw a few comments a minority of you left for Y/N. You don't realize the impact words can have. Please, stop this useless hate towards her. If you truely support me, you have to respect the woman who shares my life too. I love her and it's not your hate that will change that. Respect people and spread positivity instead. Thanks guys xxx."

I post this screenshot of my notes on all my social media and lock my phone. I hug Y/N and whisper to her ear.

"Everything will be fine now, darling."