Shawn Mendes Imagines

26. Memories

Y/N's perspective

"Hello ?" You say, wondering why your ex is calling you after more than 3 months without any news from him.

"Y-Y/N ?" He asks as if he wasn't sure that's your voice on the other side of the phone. You can clearly hear that something's wrong.

"Shawn ? Why are you calling me at this time of the night ? Are you ok ?"

Your repetitive sleep disorders keep you awake almost every night, and having someone on the phone at 3.00 in the morning isn't something you're used to. You usually just sit on the couch, watching some tv or scrolling through your phone until you fall back asleep.

The idea he's drunk and lost somewhere in town hits you almost immediately, but you don't want to panic for nothing so you let him speak .

"Y/N, c-can I come over ?"

His question surprises you, but he sounds so desperate. Why does he want to come at your place ? And why does it sound so urgent ?

"Shawn, are you drunk or something ? You sound weird." You say honestly, not caring to sound a bit impolite or offensive.

"What ? No ! Can I just come ? Please."

You sigh and agree reluctantly, it has been a strained relationship between the both of you lately. As soon as you give him your permission, he hangs up without adding anything else.

A 10 good minutes later, you hear a knock on the door and know exactly who it is. You stand up from the couch and walk to the front door. Opening it, you catch the sight of your ex boyfriend standing in front of you. His hair is just a curly mess, and his eyes are stuck on his feet, his slightly hairy cheeks are tinted in a soft pink shade. He's only wearing his favourite grey sweatpants and a plain white shirt stained by you-don't-even-know-what, and you don't want to know actually. He is not even wearing his precious silver ring.

It isn't like Shawn to look that bad. Normally, he always makes sure to look good in every situation. Don't get me wrong, he's still handsome, but it seems like he has neglected his appearance for the last few days.

"Hi, come in." You try to be as nice as possible, seeing him like that makes your heart ache.

You both walk to the living room and sit on the comfortable couch you used to share in the evening while cuddling and watching a movie.

Shawn hasn't looked at you properly since he's here, and you know he has something important to tell you. He seems so nervous, and he can't stop playing with his fingers.

"Shawn, can you tell me why you're here ? It's not that I don't want to see you, but I just don't understand the purpose of your visit." You ask with a soft voice, not wanting to upset him or make him feel bad for showing up like that.

"I-I wrote a new song today." He whispers, still not looking at you but the floor instead.

"Yeah... And ?" You really don't see where he wants to bring you.

"It's called Memories." He adds, but you still don't get it.

"Can you just tell me what you want already ?" You tell him more sternly than before, a bit mad that he is not answering you.

His beautiful caramel eyes, for the first time, catch yours. You know you've just hurt him by using this tone, but you couldn't help it. It simply slipped out of your mouth like that.

"We wrote our story and we sang our songs. We hung our pictures on the wall. Now those precious moments that we craved in stone are only memories after all." He sings quietly, void filling his eyes.

You stay silent and watch him sing. Why is he doing that ? What does it mean ?

"I had to rewrite this song a thousand times. I didn't manage to finish it. I... I just cried all-"

He doesn't finish his sentence, he just starts to cry. You don't really know how to react to this. He hasn't talked to you for 3 whole months, then he visits you in the middle of the night, and now he's crying in your living room.

After a few more seconds of reflection, you eventually get closer to him and rub his back with your hand. He hides his face in his large hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

"I-I can't get over you. I miss you, Y/N. You meant the world to me. Our memories are haunting me." He sobs, his powerful voice oddly weak.

"Shawn, calm down. Stop crying, please." You wouldn't have thought it'd hurt you that much to see him like that.

"You don't understand how hard it is for me to carry on without you." He cries even more, tears falling on his pants.

"Shawn... You're the one who ended our relation..." Your voice starts to crack every now and then, memories of the fight you had before he left rushing in your mind.

That's true, it was him. You've never really understood why.

"I-I know, and I was a fucking idiot. I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry for not explaining." More tears roll down his red burning cheeks.

He's in the exact same position as you when he left without any reasons. Out of nowhere, he once said it would be better if you weren't together anymore.

"You don't imagine how bad you hurt me, Shawn." It's now anger speaking for you. You've tried to stay calm until now, but it had to happen.

"You don't know how much I cried for you, and now you just come back and tell me you miss me ? Baby, open your eyes, you lost me a while ago."

You're honestly so mad at him right now. How can he think you'd fall in his arms again so easily ? Just by saying he's sorry ? You can feel your throat clog up and your eyes water.

He broke your heart and you can't forgive him like that. You've tried to stay as nice as you could with him all this time, but now it's just too much.

"Y/N, please, let m-"

"No, Shawn. I don't want to hear your apologies, it's too late. So now, if you could leave, that would be great." You cut him off, your heart as cold as ice.

He looks at you to see if you're serious. Unfortunately for him, you are dead serious.

"Please..." He tries one last time, but you don't change your mind.

You stand up again from the couch and lead him outside.

"Stop hurting yourself and delete my number. I'm sorry, Shawn." You state before closing the door in his handsome face.

You go back to the living room and sit back in the couch. You stare at the wall which was full of guitars and pictures a few months ago as tears start to blur your vision.

No, he can't come back into your life that easily.

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It's crazy how one thought can mess up my whole day ...