I felt around the side of my bed looking for the bottle not once lifting my head off the pillow. When I found it I took a big gulp feeling the burn of the Vodka down my throat. I looked at the clock and groaned taking another drink when I realized it was only 9 AM. I pulled myself up and sat on the side of the bed with my head in one hand and the bottle in the other. Drinking was the only thing keeping me from hating myself for what I did. I regretted being with Kellin because of course he hadn’t changed. I actually found out that his “emergency errand” meant going to our apartment and seeing Layla before coming back to me. I wanted to tell Layla what had happened but I knew it would just cause more problems so I just continued to drown myself in Vodka. Someone knocked on the door and I went to answer it not even thinking to put down the bottle and put on pants. I was in one of Chris’s shirts he left that was too big on me and my underwear. When I opened the door Ricky was standing there with his eyebrows raised at me. He sighed and took the bottle out of my hand.
“Dani, what are you doing? It’s 9 in the morning and you already look drunk.”
“I’ve only taken a sip,” I snapped then instantly regretted talking to him like that. “I’m sorry, Ricky.”
He nodded, came inside, and sat on the couch and I sat next to him laying my head on his shoulder. Ricky had become kind of like a protective brother since everything went on with Chris a couple of days back. I felt bad because the time spent taking care of me was time that he could be spending with Jessica but even she had told me she didn’t mind. They all knew I wasn’t doing very well. As much as I didn’t want to admit it I knew I was a wreck.
“Why don’t you go get ready and I’ll take you to get some coffee from Starbucks,” he said helping me up off the couch.
“Fine, but I’m not going anywhere else.”
I hadn’t wanted to leave the apartment lately because I just didn’t fell like having anyone seeing me. I went to my room and jumped in the shower to get the smell of alcohol off of me. When I got out I overheard Ricky on the phone with someone.
“Dude, it’s honestly not worth it but if you want to continue to let her treat you like shit be my guest. Chris, Megan hasn’t changed in the past three years I don’t think she’s going to do it now. Huh? Oh she’s uh, she’s good.”
He was talking about me and completely lying. Part of me wanted him to tell Chris that I was suffering this much but part of me was glad he was keeping it from him.
“Look, as long as you let her stay there with you you’re going to feel like shit in your own house. She does this to you every time. I’m not trying to be a dick. Well you want me to be honest don’t you? I’ll see you in a few days man just try and stay sane okay?”
He hung up and I stepped back away from the door and got dressed in a Motley Crue t-shirt and black skinny jeans with my black slide on vans. I threw my hair back in a ponytail and didn’t even bother with my makeup before going back into the living room with Ricky. He was sitting on the couch watching T.V. and when he saw me he stood up.
“Ready?” He asked and I nodded.
We decided to walk because my apartment was right up the road from Starbucks so there was no point in driving.
“I have a question,” he said seeming a bit nervous.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Well, I was wondering how you would feel about going back to Scranton with the band?”
I was shocked and not even sure what to say. Why was he asking me to go where Chris was after all that happened?
“Me and Jess just don’t want to leave you here like this, plus Layla isn’t here since she decided to go with kellin for tour so you would be on your own.”
“Where would I stay?” I asked him knowing I didn’t have enough saved up for a new apartment.
“Jessica said you can stay with her. I’m there a good bit of the time but I stay at Chris’s a lot to.”
In one conversation he had mentioned both people that I didn’t even want to think about and it was causing my head to swim.
“I don’t think Chris would want me there and I really don’t want to meet Megan,” I said bitterly.
“Well the rest of us want you there and you and Chris can’t keep pretending like the last two weeks didn’t happen. That guy is crazy about you.” I didn’t say anything back and he sighed. “At least think about it please.”
I nodded to let him know I would and we walked into Starbucks and ordered our drinks. We got them and left because I didn’t want to stay in public any longer than I had to with how I looked. The whole walk back was complete silence like neither of us knew what to say. I could tell he wanted to talk more about me going to Scranton but he probably realized that it wasn’t something I felt like discussing. When we got back we sat down on the couch and watched T.V. for a bit still in silence.
“Chris will want to see you,” he finally said catching me off guard.
“Well maybe I don’t want to see him!” I snapped back storming off to my room.
He didn’t notice that I had grabbed the bottle of vodka when I stormed off and I started chugging it hoping he wouldn’t come after me. After downing almost the whole bottle I laid back feeling my head swim. It was better this way because it was harder to think. Harder to think about Chris, Kellin, moving to Scranton, or anything else that had happened recently. I heard Ricky’s footsteps on the floor and he started knocking on my door.
“Go away,” I slurred.
He opened the door anyway and I groaned putting my head in the pillow.
“Damn it, Dani. Was it really necessary to drink that much because of one think I said?”
“Why does it matter to you,” I said sounding a lot more hateful than I meant to.
He sighed and stroked my hair.
“I don’t enjoy watching you destroy yourself like that.”
I turned over and looked at him. I have no clue why but the way he was sitting here comforting me made me want to kiss him. I knew I shouldn’t but everything was telling me to. It was probably just the alcohol but before I could stop myself I pulled myself up to him and put my lips on his. Surprisingly he didn’t push me away. We stayed like that for a while with our arms wrapped around each other. When we did pull away we both knew that it shouldn’t have happened and the guilt was all over our faces.
“Fuck, Dani, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let that happen.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I said flopping back down on the bed. “I’m the one that kissed you so I’m sorry.”
Just then I heard someone walk away from my door that Ricky had left open. Layla.
“Shit,” Ricky and I both said at the same time.
This was not going to end well.
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Author's Note: Just a warning, I plan on speeding things up a bit from here on out for a little while so that I can get where I want to with the story. Vote, Comment, Follow <3
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If You're James Dean, Fuck You
FanficWhen Dani decides she hates her ex, Kellin he starts trying to make his way back into her life and just as she thinks she may have found someone new. Will Kellin get in the way of her new relationship or will she push him back forever? I do not own...
