Dancing On My Own

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Aleen. The love of Avi's life.... I wish it was me. The one he'll kiss around everyone. The one he'll cuddle with every night. The one he'll see the first thing in the morning.

But she's the one he chose. She's the one to be with him forever. It hurts. Hurts to see him kneel in front of her, holding a ring. Asking for marriage. To make him the happiest man alive.

I'm happy for him. But it just hurts. So so much.

She makes him happy. And seeing him smile, puts a smile on my face also. When she's not around, he's like a lost dog finding his owner.

That's why we call them lovebirds. They're inseparable. They're stuck like glue. And nothing and no one will ever go between them. Not even me.

Because I can't. I'm scared. I know what you're thinking, why? Because I promised him we'll always be friends. Just friends.

And when I said that, he looked so hurt. I felt guilty that time. He didn't even talk to me like we used to.

And I regret it. I regret it so much. I wish we could turn back time and fix everything. But we can't. Those only happen in stories, fantasies. But this is real life, reality.

Everything including our friendship. I don't know why I unfollowed and blocked him on every social media. I guess I was annoyed with the Kavi shippers...
I do love Avi. But when I realized it, I was too late. He already found someone. Someone to love, live with until the end of time. And that girl isn't me. I was too blind to see he loved me in the past. He was there when I needed someone. He offered his shoulder for me to cry on. He never left by my side. He cared for me when I was hurt.

But I was too stupid. Too dumb. Too blind. To see that he really love me and that he really cares for me and that he was the man for me.

But I rejected him. I wasn't thinking wisely. And now, I regret it. All of it....

Why? Why can't we be together forever? Why aren't we meant for each other? What did I ever do for this to happen to me?! Why is the world so cruel? I just don't understand...... I need answers!

But no one can answer my questions. Not even me..... it's just so unfair... everything is unfair.

Avleen. That's what people ship now. And not Kavi anymore. I mean, some people still ship Kavi but most pentaholics ship Avleen more.

I guess Avi liked Aleen because she's anything a gentleman could ask for. She's smart, skinny, a singer, tall -but not as tall as Avi-, pretty, kind, caring, creative, joyful, adventurous, she's pretty much everything.

Why did she have to exists? Why did Jeremy had to exists? He's the reason for all of this.

If he wasn't here, I would probably be with Avi right now. I knew he was trouble when I saw him. But my heart was saying he's the one.

But he wasn't.

And I knew that Avi was the one. But now he isn't.

And he'll never be.

Because he's with Aleen.

He already proposed to her for fuck sake.

But I'll be waiting. I'll be waiting for him. Even if it takes forever.

Because I know that he belongs to me and I belong to him. Forever.

I know that we're meant for each other.

but he doesn't seem to see it. But he will.

He will be mine in the future.

*****

I know.... I haven't updated in a while 😂😂😂

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