Don't read if you need your heart.
I saw her. As she walks down the aisle. Flowers in hand, a white veil covering her face, and wearing a long white dress.
She's beautiful. Perfect.
She walks down the aisle slowly while someone was on the piano playing the wedding song. (I don't know what it's called xD)
Tears wanted to escape my eyes. But I tried my best to lock them in. I may be sensitive, but I can lock my feelings in. Let's just hope that the lock is still strong.
She walks past me giving me her famous side smile. It just hurt more when she did that. I felt my heart crack. Oh the things she do to me.
The lucky man takes her hand. I wish I was him. She was once mine. But I let her slip away. I wish I held on to her tighter.but maybe she didn't belong to me.
She belongs to him.
He's tall, he's kind, he's handsome, he's a singer, he's pretty much everything a girl could ask for.
I don't know what happened, but ever since he entered our lives, me and Kirstie drifted apart.
We unfollowed each other on social medias. She even blocked me.
It broke my heart. It was cracked.
But what made it shatter completely was when they said they're I do's. It hurt so bad.
It was like, a hammer was inside of me, destroying my heart that's made of glass.
I didn't want to go. But I didn't want to disappoint her. Not on her wedding day.
I didn't pay attention to what was happening. I just sat there, staring at the girl of my dreams.
She belongs to another man. And that's not me.
She looked happy. And that's all I ever wanted.
For her to be happy.
And she was happy with him.
And I wouldn't want to take that away from her. Even of it hurt me to see it.
We were called for pictures now. I put on a fake smile. They say I'm good at fake smiling. I'll probably look happy on the picture. But on the inside, I'm slowly dying.
Pictures were done and we moved on to reception.
The newly married couple got into their car and drove to the reception place.
Scott asked me if I was ok. I gave him a weak smile and said I was fine. Even tho I'm not.
They know about my feelings for Kirstie.
But I'd do anything to make her happy.
And by anything I mean I'd risk it all. Even my life. Even my money. Even everything that I have. Even my heart
We got to the venue and the married couple are already there.
For them, they were now in paradise.
But for me, I was in hell. I felt... dead. She took my heart. When she left, my heart and soul left with her. Leaving me.
When the couple went for their first dance, I couldn't take it anymore.
I went outside for some air and set on a bench. We used to look at the stars together.
But now I'm alone.
I started humming standing by. That song was for her and my family. Every time I'd sing it, I'll think if her, my mom, my dad and my siblings.
Tears started to stream down my face as I hummed the chorus.
I heard footsteps coming near me. I just hope it isn't Kirstie.
I heard my name being called by Kevin. Thank goodness it was just him.
He asked me what I was doing here but immediately sat beside me and took me in for a comfortable hug as I cried on his chest.
He knew about everything. How I felt. How I became depressed. How I attempted to take my life.
He was always there beside me. Helping and guiding me to the light.
But whatever I do, the darkness will always come back for me.
After I've calmed down, I told Kevin to go and leave me here outside. He agreed knowing I needed space.
After who knows how long, I heard another person coming near and sat beside me.
But this time it wasn't Kevin.
It was Kirstie.
She was still in her wedding gown. She was beautiful. Her eyes and her dress sparkled in the dark. But we kept staring at the stars.
It was silent. But it wasn't awkward at all....
"So.... what're you doing here?" She broke the silence. Both of us still staring at the night sky.
"I could ask you the same Mrs. Lewis." I said and chuckled. Wow. That hurt so much to say.
"I asked you first Kaplan." She said giggling. Cute.
"I... just needed some air." I smiled. "What about you? Shouldn't you be in there with your husband?"
"I just saw you here and I was curious." She said both of us still looking at the stars above us.
After that, it was quiet again.
A few minutes, she again, broke the silence between us.
"Do you remember? How we always look at the stars at night?" She remembers. Well, that hurt.
"Yes. Yes I do remember" I smiled at the memory. But it just hurt so much. She's right here beside me, looking to the stars. But I can't hold her like I did before. I couldn't tell her how beautiful she was. I couldn't cuddle her. I couldn't tell her how much I love her.
It just changed. Everything did.
"I better get going now. Jeremy's gonna look for me. Why dont you go inside? Go enjoy yourself." she stood up, smiled and patted me one the back. Then walked away.
I stood up following her. I went inside and was already greeted by a drunk Scott and Mitch and no sign of Kevin anywhere.
I tried getting out of the venue but unfortunately, Kirstie saw me. She grabbed my wrist and asked where I was going. I said I was going home and that I wasn't feeling well.
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye. Even if the kiss was just on the cheek, I missed it. So much. But sadly, I'm not the man that belongs to her.
Don't tell me I didn't warn y'all...m This hurt so much to write. And if you didn't know, this is Sam and not Shane :) it absolutely broke my heart.... I didn't need my heart anyway :(
