infatuation?

horrible.

so. today is friday.

remember how i said i wonder what will bring me the next day, in the previous chapter? well, today is the next day.

and it's fucking horrible. most horrible day this year so far.

my dad was fired. my mum can't work because she's still recovering from cancer. i am not allowed to work. i can't do it secretly either.

i asked you whether there was homework, you left me on read again.

i got pissed off, texted something sarcastic to you. i am sorry about that though, i'll probably send you another message but you probably wouldn't care.

i don't write every single shit that happens to me, here, but this is one of those times where i genuinely feel like giving up. i feel useless, stupid, insecure, sad, and that nobody loves me.

and the person that i really like alot; you, probably don't care about me.

i really should forget about it.

i should forget trying in general.

i feel like absolute shit to the point that i am void of any kind of emotions.

sometimes, when the days are tough i would go to bed early so i could ' die ' temporarily.