infatuation?

end

i am not angry at you. not really.

i am not upset because of you. well, maybe a little.

and i am totally fine with you not having mutual feelings. who am i kidding. but i will get over it.

i think it just sucks how whenever i like someone, and when it comes to an instance where i find out that he/she doesn't think twice about me, i feels like it was something that i did.

there are times where this shit happens and i would go on weeks without being able to look at a mirror because i felt ugly, useless, worthless, stupid, an embarrassment.

it's all my fault.

and.. i hate myself.

but i am still angry at you for making me believe.

i am still angry at the fact that you gave me hope for a happy opportunity because you are such a great and lovable person.

the familiar empty feeling is bleeding in again.

but i still want to thank you for the brief but beautiful moment whereby seeing you would make my day better.

now that it's over...

wow.. i actually feel like crying.