CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
I honestly just can't even react. I look at Harry, then back to Niall.
We make eye contact just before he leaves. I get off the bed and follow him, "Niall!" He turns around and tears are uncontrollably falling from his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." I say weakly, not looking at him. I can tell he's not looking at me either.
"I love him..." The words leave my mouth so quietly, it was almost a whisper.
"I know." He says before leaving.
I don't even know what else to say, or what to do. I feel completely helpless.
I push myself against the wall and slide my back all the way down to the floor, until my knees are in my face.
I wrap my hands around my legs and place my head between my knees.
I should've never said yes to Niall. He deserves better.
He's probably the sweetest and nicest guy I've ever met... but he just isn't Harry.
I feel an arm wrap around me, I look up through tears to see Liam.
"I made a mistake." I say with a trembled voice.
"Everyone makes mistakes." He says comforting me, he can always make me feel better, no matter how wrong I am.
"I just don't know what to do." I confess to him.
"Talk to him." He replies helping me up.
"Thanks." I hug him tightly before going off to find Niall.
I look for him everywhere and find him on the porch sitting on the swing bench.
"Can we talk?"
"Yea, I guess." I take the spot beside him and realize that I'm still in my bra.
"I knew you loved him, I shouldn't have ever asked you out. I just thought since he was gone, you might go for a guy like me... I didn't think about when he came back..." He looks off into the distance and my heart aches for him.
"I shouldn't have said yes." I look into his deep blue eyes, "I don't regret what we did, but what we did is what we did. I don't think this could go anywhere." I admit truthfully. "It's just I love him. I love you too, but it's not the same. It's just I'm in love with Harry. I don't know how to explain it."
I look away and then look back at him, "You're genuinely a nice guy and probably the sweetest I've ever met, but I don't think the chemistry is a hundred percent there."
When I think about it, it's honestly true. I mean we kissed, that's it. Our relationship was truly nothing more than a friendship.
He grabs my arm gently, "I still care for you, and always will." He smiles weakly, "...and I don't think you're leaving anytime soon, I just want us to be able to be friends and try to work this out. You're still a really good person to be around, I just don't want things to get weird." He looks down and I just hug him.
"You're honestly the best. I hope you don't hate me, and forgive me. Because I really do want to be friends too. I'd hate to loose someone like you, even though I know I don't deserve it." He kisses my forehead, "I could never hate you."
I smile at his words, I feel relieved, still feel like shit about everything... but I know it's for the best, I just wish I never told him yes.
"We've been looking for you guys!" I hear Liam say opening the door, "I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm about to grill some lunch... hamburgers or hotdogs?"
Once he looks at me, his facial expression changes... he's staring at my body, I start to get really uncomfortable at the fact that I'm still in my bra.
"I'm not hungry!" I blurt out before he can say anything.
I get out and push him out of the way. I walk back to Harry's room... I suppose my new bedroom. This whole situation is going to be more awkward than I realized.
Harry hugs me as soon as I walk in, I think he can see how upset everything is making me.
"I brought your stuff in here... I just thought it'd be awkward if"-"Thanks." I say cutting him off from going any farther.
I look over and see a pile of my things gathered at the end of the bed.
"I mean, since we're leaving for the tour in a couple days.. you don't even need to put them away. I actually have a suitcase you can use." I can't believe how fast time flew by, I didn't realize how close the tour was.
"Oh, okay. Thanks." I say back.
He opens the closet and pulls out a suitcase.
"I can pack everything for you, if you want?" He says laying the suitcase on the bed.
"It's okay, I got it. Maybe you should go spend time with the boys, they missed you." He kisses me on the cheek before he leaves. I go to the pile of clothes and pick up skinny jeans, a hoodie, and some socks and dress myself.
I start folding and placing clothes in the suitcase, then my jewelry, shoes and then random items like parfume. Everything. I just pack it all.
I notice the roses Niall gave me aren't here. I kept them on the dresser for months as a reminder of that night.
Even though they were dried out, I could never throw them away.
I get up and walk into Niall's room to see if they were still here. I look around and see the spot on his dresser where my stuff was. It's empty and feels weird.
I look around and can't find the roses. As I start to leave, I spot them laying in the trash can that's by his door.
