Riders on the storm (engl.)

Part 4- end of the night

„Crawling back to you..." Alex Turner's voice is booming through the club and I sing along loudly.

I love the Artic Monkeys, love this song. Grin at Greg, who's polishing glasses. He leans over the counter and shouts: „This song is for you! Happy Birthday!"

I laugh.

„My birthday's in a week! But thank you, anyway."

„Sorry. Another Coke for you? Or something more...potent?" he grins.

I shake my head. I promised Ben to give up drinking, like every day. He doesn't know that I poured some Vodka in my coffee after getting up this noon. It's good that we never moved in together!

„No, I have to drive," I reply and turn away from Greg.

I hate all the lying so much! But otherwise I can't get the monkey off my back. Two month in the rehab center were helpful, for the moment. My parents think I am still sober. But when I arrived at my lonesome flat it all started again. Jackson didn't want me to phone with my kids, Ella and Jay, he said I would confuse them. And when Ben came along this day, I was drunk again.

„Hey, beautiful. All alone in here?" I hear a dark voice behind me.

I sigh. Turn around to send who- ever away. Lose my balance on the baarstool and the guy- maybe mexican- grabs my arm. While trying to shake him off I fall from the chair and he catches me. Then suddenly, Ben's there. He tears the smaller guy away from me and starts beating him angrily. I shout: „Ben, leave him! Nothing happened!"

My tall friend does not react. He doesn't hear me, doesn't see me, it's just him and the filter of his rage. I know about Ben's rage. It's a symptom of our relationship. But no, he won't ever beat me. But we're fighting a lot, throwing harsh words onto one another.

The mexican's at the ground, Ben's still on him, kicking him.

„STOP it now!" I bark.

After an eternity it seems, Greg shows up and throws a bucket of crushed ice at Ben's face. Greg, who is double Ben's size, grabs his friend and pulls him to the backdoor of the club, I hear sirens. Take my purse and follow the guys outside. The air hasn't really cooled down, even it's in the middle of the night.

„Chill down, mate. Don't want you to get in trouble in my bar!" Greg tries to calm Ben.

But Ben shouts: „This fucker touched my girl!"

„Hun, I just stumbled. You know how clumsy I am..." I try to soothe him.

He tilts his head.

„He grabbed your fucking ass!" he hisses.

„Ben, chill down," Greg interrupts. „It was nothing. I have to go back in, shall I call you a cab?"

„No, I drive!" I answer automatically.

Greg nods and leaves. As the backdoor closes behind him, I wake from my rigor and turn to Ben. He nearly reached the main street. I start running after him, stumble and fall.

„Ben, wait!" I shout. „The car's...the other..."

I struggle to my feet. Sigh. I'm mad at myself for being like this. Why can't I leave the damn alcohol? Luckily Ben's too stoned to recognize I'm drunk. I hope...

„I'll walk!" Ben shouts over his shoulder.

But I manage to catch up with him and reach out to his hands. They're still shaking and his knuckles are bloody. I have to take care of Ben, right now! I whisper: „You're not well. Come with me, I'll drive y..."