Riders on the storm (engl.)

Part 7- love me two times

When I wake up in the morning I realize I'm still in the arms of the tall islander. He sleeps peacefully while I spot a small puddle of my saliva on his chest. Oh. How awkward! I use my shirt to dry it and manage to free myself without waking him. Right in this moment there's a noise from the stairs and I try to reach the guest bathroom fast, but Salka stops me at the doorstep. She grins.

„Good morning! Up this early?"

„I... I was looking for..." I stutter.

She laughs.

„Calm down, feel free to use everything as if it's your own. That includes my soon to be ex- husband."

Boom! I blush. She leans over and whispers: „He told me about your „mental connection". He's completely smitten by you, and believe me, normally he needs centuries to fall in love."

This statement only makes me blush more. It sounds too good to be true, I can't believe it. I nod smiling and than look for the bathroom to shower. When I came down half an hour later my bestie and the Hjartarson's are sitting at the table like a big family. I try to relax a little, but it's really hard. Tóm tells me he talked to his mother and the funeral will be on the next day. I'm very happy about it, because I feel that my batteries are running low. This day and the next I experience as if I am in a state of trance, have to admit to Lynn that the trip was too much. She does her best to keep me upright, holds me when the pastor speaks about Ben because my legs are shaking heavily. Ben's mother also takes me in her arms for a long time. Tóm tells me later that her moods can change quickly, she's abstinent at the time. I know about this well. Too well. I go to bed right after the funeral and sleep until the morning of the next day, the day of our depart. Tóm's at work, sadly, I really liked to hug him another time. So I text him my goodbyes. He answers quickly:

„Too bad you can't stay longer. There's so much I'd like to show you, tell you..."

I reply: „If I survive, I'll be back. Yesterday I felt a bit unreal so I'd like to say goodbye to Ben another time more mindfully."

„You will survive! Does that also mean you'd like to see me again?"

„Of course I do."

„I do too. I miss you already...weird, isn't it?"

I look at his words dreamily and sigh. Lynn grumbles: „Dammit, Mirjam. You're going through tough times right now and you're flirting with a guy from the edge of the world?"

She's right. Absolutely, I just let Ben go to be on this new path, focusing on myself, and now...Next message is saying: „Speechless? I'm sorry. But I can't help it. I saw you and then...boom! Even before you told me that you're carrying Ben with you."

I sigh and answer: „This really makes me speechless. I don't look like a woman you can fall in love like that. I'm a mess."

„Maybe you look a little pale and tired, but that does not change my feelings for you. And I think you're hot. Your small, cute feet in my hands...hm..."

Woah. I look outside the window, suppressing the upcoming heat. If this is a dream, I should wake up right now!

During the flight home I sleep most of the time. Back to Switzerland the doctors are scolding me and telling me that I have to wait two weeks more for the surgery. I write that to Tóm and he joins the ranting doctors club. Fine!

I let the next days pass, eat loads of vitamins and minerals, doing yoga and meditation. But what really helps is my sweet boyfriend from the other side of the world. We're chatting and phoning a lot. And I still think this is also an imagination, like the one I had before my second accident. I try to be on the watch, but I don't know how. Everytime I see Tóm's name popping up on my phone my heart misses a beat. When we're facetiming he gives me the feeling as if I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Sometimes it get's a little hot, but he's a lot more containend than Ben. Right now I'm writing him that I miss him again.