Same But Different - GirlxGirl (Completed)

Chapter Thirteen

Accidentally on Purpose

“Okay, last question; which country was Adolf Hitler born in?” Belle flipped through the history book and ran her eyes on each and every corner of the book, as if she had missed any question.

“Austria” I answered in a split second.

“Yuri, I thought when you said let’s study, you meant for me to teach you, but I think you’ll have to teach me at this rate” I laughed loudly as Belle closed the book and laid on the bed stretching out her body.

“I like your room, it’s nice and comfy” Belle said out loud.

“Why did your parent’s name you Belle?” I asked out of curiosity

“You know, I get this question a lot. Okay maybe not a lot because I have lack of friends and basically no life, but here is what my mom said when I asked her why she named me Belle. She said it was a name, one would hear in a dream or on the soft breezes of a cold night.” Belle looked at my astonishing face and smirked.

“Wow, that’s weird and awesome” I laughed as I laid next to her.

I could smell the soft scent of her perfume, my eyes focused on her bare neck highlighting her collarbone. Belle was beautiful on the inside and it showed in her appearance too. Others who thought less of people like her and more of the society has kicked and bruised her. I could feel her sighing happily just look at the ceiling like she appreciated everything even though life has been tough on her.

“Maybe it would be tough on me too, if I blurt out my sexuality” I thought.

But as I keep reminding myself, I am just someone walking in Yuri’s shoes and I will not get in her way of anything. While all these thoughts ran my mind, I was unaware at Belle had been staring straight at me.

Our faces close to one another and I could feel her soft mint breath on me. Without wasting any second she leaned towards me tilting her head and placed a kiss on my lips lightly. I felt my body acting up, and without even thinking more, I kissed her back. My hands grabbed her close, while her legs rubbing against my thighs. I felt my body shake as her hands touched every inch of my body just exploring it. Her fingers brushed against my arms, I felt her cup my breasts, squeezing it softly. Our lips still locked together, kissing passionately. I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to, but I had to.

“We can’t” I managed to spill out, sitting on the bed.

 I had just realized what I had done. My poor instinct had gotten the best of me. I had let Yuri down. “This is all, my fault” I felt tears running down my cheeks. Belle sat next to me and wiped my tears away.

“It’s not your fault that you like girls, Yuri” Her voice was assuring but little she knew anything about who she was talking to. It was hard to hide all the pain I’ve kept hidden for so long and I felt that Belle understood that. Her hands played with my hair and caress my back until I was ready to talk.

“How long have you known?” I asked her looking straight at her face to face. I had done a huge mistake, and Yuri would never forgive me. I was careless and ignorant. I felt nothing but guilt.

“I used my superpower, and by the way it was no joke”

Belle made it sound like a joke and so easy. I knew she wanted to lighten me up but what she knew was a lie. It wasn’t Yuri who was a lesbian, it was me, Sasha. It was me, who she just kissed, but she has no idea that I exist. I just put Yuri in trouble and myself too.

“Belle, I am not a lesbian, whatever we just did was just in the heat of the moment” I muttered unhappily. Belle took my hand, and said.

“There is no way in hell, what just happened was a lie, you can’t deny it and neither can I. No one can kiss like that in the heat of the moment. Every inch of your body approved of what just happened. You can’t stop yourself from being yourself Yuri”  

The truth hurts, because every word she said didn’t make me feel any better.

“If you can’t stop yourself from being yourself, then why did you beg me not to ‘out’ you in front of the school? Why couldn’t you stand up for yourself?” I snapped at her.

“Because then, I thought I’d lose everything” Belle said huskily.

“If you don’t, you lose yourself. Is it worth all that?” I asked her. It was me, who needed to hear the answer to that question.

“My thoughts were the same. Until I realized I’ll never see a glimpse of happiness if I don’t. I told my parents about my sexuality, yesterday. There was a lot of crying and screaming, but in the end, they were my parents. They accepted me, embraced me in their arms because I am the only daughter they have, they rather die than see me unhappy” I smiled at Belle who was tearing happily.

“So yeah, I made my point. Your mother will accept you too, it may not happen overnight but someday, deep in her heart she’ll accept you because you’ll always be her star child” Belle flashed a smile and waited for me to talk.

“Belle, do you know what a Multiple Personality Disorder is?” I felt my legs shake as I spoke. I knew I wasn’t supposed to do this, but then again I wasn’t supposed to lock my lips with Belle either. What I was about do next could result very badly but I just had to give it a try.

“I think I’ve heard about it. One person with many different characters, am I correct?” Belle lifted her eyebrows and waited for an answer.

“It’s also known as Dissociative Identity Disorder, it’s when one person shares two or more personalities. It’s like two completely different people living in the same body. Are you following me?” I asked.

I shouldn’t be telling her all this but now I have no choice but to tell Belle about my little secret. Mine and Yuri’s little secret. It was the only way to save Yuri from false accusations and for Belle to finally see me, as me. Sasha.

“Okay, I get the picture. But get to the point, Yuri” Belle urged me to spit it out.

“Belle, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. . .” My voice cracked as I spoke. I could see Belle’s eyes pop wide open. This nightmare was just beginning, and there seemed no way out.

“I am not Yuri, I am her alter Sasha” My words were spoken. They were loud and scary even for me to hear out in the open.

As the room got silent, I could hear the familiar voice in my head scream “What have you done?”