Seeing your best friend lying on a hospital bed almost dead can do some really fucked up shit to your brain.
"Sometimes I wonder why I even try in this world anymore, you know what I mean Blair? I would so much to trade places right now, I deserve to be dead for all the stuff I did in this world. I'm the reason my dad hit me, I'm the reason Gerard left me, I'm the reason I'm still single, I'm the reason I'm going to die alone, I'm the reason you were mad at me, I'm the reason you're going to die. You're going to die alone, which is something you never wanted, you wanted to find that one, but I got in the way. You could have found the one who loved you more then anything in this world, but I had to stop you, life would be so much better if I hadn't done anything. I'm a fuck up! That's what I am. I'm nothing but a fuck up," I cry to her lifeless body. I turned when I heard a faint knock at the door.
"Hey..." Brendon said walking in. He sat down next to me and started digging through his pockets.
"Hi," I whispered still staring at Blair.
"I brought this, it will..." I cut Brendon off when I saw he got money out.
"Are you serious? This is why you're alone! Your filthy money won't help Blair right now, she's in a coma, and I don't think we can bring her back, so stop flashing your cash and at least pretend to care for once in your life! Now just go, Brendon!" I yelled pointing him to the door.
"Jackie..." Brendon started.
"No Brendon, just go!" I yelled at him. I watched as Brendon put his money back in his pocket and walk off.
"I don't know what to do, where to go. I feel alone, I feel broken. I had never done anything without you. How was I supposed to live life without you? I have no one, not a single person cared anymore. Back in New York, I moved in with you when my mom passed away. I didn't ever talk to anyone outside the family anyway, it was you and I, me and you,"
"What about Brendon," A small voice called out. I looked behind me, then to the left and right, before looking down.
"Blair?" I said in a shaky voice.
"Hi Jaclyn," She said. Her blue eyes just barely open, her voice was soft and quiet, her black hair was a mess.
"You're alive! Oh my god," I yelled hugging her, ignoring the giant gash in her side.
"Ow ow ow, be careful," She complained. I pulled away.
"Sorry, I'm just so happy you're alive, I thought I was gonna be alone... forever, have to go back to New York and live alone, and be alone and just...." I cried, hugged her again, this time being more careful.
"What about Brendon?" She asked once again.
"What about him?" I asked confused.
"Are you together?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"Of course not, I'm not being with a narcissistic, rude, asshole who doesn't give a fuck about anybody else but himself," I said crossing my arms across my chest.
"Then why does he keep coming back?" She said back to me.
"Because he's thirsty," I say rolling my eyes.
"But why you? He's Brendon fucking Urie, he could get anyone he wanted at any time," She pointed out.
"I don't know, I'm not special... I'm ugly... and fat, and disgusting..." I was about to continue the list.
"Stop it! Stop making it sound like you are some obese lady who owns 500 cats and lives in an alley," Blair yelled
"I'm allergic to cats," I laugh.
"I know," She laughs back.
"I hope I'm not interrupting something," The doctor said walking in.
"No just 2 friends having a great time," I say smiling.
"Oh, that's great, well we have to run some tests on Blair just to make sure everything is okay," he smiled.
"Hey Jaclyn, if anything happens to me, I want you to know I love you so much, more than life itself, and pay attention to Brendon... I can see something happening between you two," She winked.
"Don't talk like that! Nothing is going happen! You are going to be better!" I cried to her. Bad thoughts crept into my head.
"Do you love me?" Blair said holding my hand.
"Yes!" I cry tears escaped my eyes.
"Tell me," She said also now crying.
"Blair Dywer, I love you more than my life itself," I cried to her. She pulled me into a hug.
"I love you too," She cried into my shoulder.
We slowly pulled apart and I walked out of the room. I wiped the tears as I shut the door.
"Are you Jaclyn?" A nurse asked me.
"Uh... yeah?" I asked I was confused, how did she know me.
"Oh... I'm sorry to say but we don't think Miss Dwyer is going to make it," She explained.
"No! We were just talking! She seemed better than ever!" I yelled at the nurse, tears once again threatening me.
"There is this thing that people do right before they die, they get up and act completely normal, we aren't sure why they do it but it happens, I'm so sorry," she says. She set her hand on my shoulder, I didn't feel it. I felt nothing but a sinking feeling in my stomach. Did Blair know? That's why she told me to tell her I loved her. That was it for Blair, that was the last moment I had with her, forever, I would never see that beautiful pale skinned, black haired, blue eyed, best friend that I had.
I slid to the floor, I couldn't describe my feeling. It felt like nothing, I wasn't crying I wasn't yelling, I was nothing.
YOU ARE READING
Lost// Brendon Urie// Finished
Fanfiction"Sleep with me," "I would rather be dead," "That could be arranged,"
