Lost// Brendon Urie// Finished

Chapter 14

It had been 3 hours. 3 hours since my life changed. Not for the better, but for the worse completely. 3 hours ago I got the news that Blair wasn't going to live. 3 hours ago somebody told me that the only person I loved in this world was gone. I had walked the city of L.A for 3 hours. I was hoping some guy came up behind me and stabbed me. I also hoped I walked into traffic. I hoped I died, I hoped I didn't have to deal with the pain I was suffering with. 

I eyed a certain car, it was black, it looked like a Tesla, but I couldn't tell. I watched the car speed up next to me. I watched the window roll down. 

"Get in," The man called. The man had been following me for an hour, I had ignored him but he wouldn't leave me alone. I wished he did. He kept driving next to me and telling me to listen to him, but I never did,  I wished he pulled a gun out and shot the pain out of my body.  But he never did. He just kept begging me to listen. 

"If you don't get in this car I'm going to force you into it," He said slowing the car down but still cruising next to me as I walked the crowded city streets. I stopped walking and turned toward him. I stared into his brown eyes. 

"You said you were one of the richest men in L.A. and if you wanted you could get me dead, please do," I said to him. Oh, did I forget to mention the man was Brendon?

"Jackie you know I'm not gonna do that," Brendon said gently. 

"Why not? You seem to want me dead pretty bad," I pointed out, I turned and kept walking. Not looking at Brendon, but I could sense him roll his eyes. 

"Because...." Brendon started, but he didn't continue. I still avoided his gaze, his eyes were what would draw me to him, attract me like a magnet. I would run back to him just like he wanted, but I didn't want that. I didn't want to be held in his arms and have him tell me it's alright, have him tell me he cares, but the next day, throw me away, have him tell me I want him, and his nice ways are one big lie just so he could sleep with me, but I wasn't going to let that happen.

"Why don't you ever finish your self? You always start to explain yourself and never continue," I said. 

"Because I don't want to explain myself," He said sternly, still following me in his car. 

"Can you kill me yet?" I asked again, picking my pace up, forcing myself to go a bit faster. 

"I told you no Jackie," Brendon said again. I heard his car go faster, I saw it in my peripheral vision. 

"Why?!" I asked in a louder tone. 

"Because I care about you!" Brendon yelled at me. I stopped in my tracks, I wanted to run, but my feet felt like they were glued to the sidewalk, and my knees felt like Jell-O. My heart raced as I watched Brendon park his car and run to me. "I care, okay? Are you happy!?" Brendon yelled standing in front of me. I dared to look up at his eyes, his eyes where I could see his feelings, but his feelings were lies.

"No, I'm not! You keep using my feelings so I can get with you, you make me feel better so I will forget the fact that I'm hurt, you're only doing it so I can sleep with you, but you don't realize that I figured out your plan! I figured out the fact that you are using me and don't care about me, you are trying to have sex with me then throw me away forever. You are pretending to care so I will sleep with you, but I'm scared, I'm scared to admit that's it's working! Over the past days, I have tried to get with you twice, and I don't even want to be with you! But you have this effect, this effect that makes me forget how much of an asshole you are!" I screamed at him.

I slammed my body against the brick building behind me. I dragged my back down to the floor and slowly slid my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I buried my head into my knees and softly cried.

"I wish I could tell you are right, tell you that it was an act... but..." Brendon started softly, I heard walk closer. "You know what... you are right, I only used you for sex... and you figured out my plan, goodbye Jackie... I mean, Jaclyn, goodbye, forever, I hope you are happy now that I'm gone," Brendon said, his tone changed, his voice sounded sad, but he was trying to hide it, but didn't do very well. I didn't look up but I did hear his car door shut. I picked my head up and laid my chin on my knees and watched is car speed off down the road.