Letters To My papa

Letter 6

27-6-2017
From heart.

Dear papa ji,

Its been 2 years now that you left,leaving us all alone behind. So many I have in my Heart to tell you. These two years how we spend only we know. Only I know how.. Every day,every second,I tried to hide my tears and pain behind my fake smile which assured my love ones that I'm okay. But truly I'm not.

Its not that I'm hurt. But somewhere I'm scared of getting hurt now. The pain and grief which people's behavior gave me,gave us. Everyday I gulped down my own tears to be strong in front of mom and siblings and I know somewhere they are doing the same. We are living,eating,smiling but still the place,is empty which was of yours. Every time when we all sat together,I looked in front of me on the place which was yours and now is empty.

Its second day of eid and we 4 are alone,seated in our room. Finding a way to smile and happiness. I saw my cousin's fathers seated with their family and when I turned to see my home,it was empty because you were not there. No one went to Masjid for Eid Namaz from our home. All day went on and we waited for you to come back once. To knock on the door,call me beta. We miss the warmth of your hug papa on eid day. The love,happiness and peace in your hug. Nothing is the same. Life is not the same. No one is there to wish us like you do. No one is there with whom me we can share the love,bounding and happiness like we felt with you. Today I'm feeling so sad. Missing you a lot. I wish I could hug you and could tell you my heart out. I wish I could show you my tears. 

I don't understand why people are so cunning,hypocrite and selfish. I wish you could see them now. How they hurt us with their words,with their actions but we are still silent. Leaving everything in Allah's hand.

Everything will be fine one day, I know but you will never come back to smile with us. And that's the biggest lose that can't be fulfilled. But I always pray for you that Allah bless you with all of His blessings and May your souls rest in peace and heaven. May you be smiling there and that's what I want the most.

Love you.
Miss you.

Your daughter
Kiran Hafeez.