LESSER KNOWN AUs ADVENTURE

*BOTG, UH WAIT, BOTH

Can he do both? Heck yeah he can do both!

Papyrus is a miracle worker. He makes dreams like this come true all the time.

Low-key teasing while grilling a person he knows zero about? You should have asked him to do this in his sleep!

"What's up, Apple Pie." Papyrus slowly unfolded, back unto his feet, and began to pump his shoulders for good measure. What's up? Now Papyrus is.

Man it feels good to be tall. And really, really, and increasingly, annoyed.

Papyrus jabbed a thumb to the pitiful collection of long dead family members. "What's the deal here, you've ran out of workers for your bakery shop?"

Apatite spluttered, "Bakery shop?!"

"That's a first." Jay raised an eyebrow. Maybe he was impressed. Papyrus could respect a skeleton who speaks the language of the cynical.

They could be buddies. You know, after he figures out what the heck is going on and why these monsters look alarmingly close to his brother. Did he mention that at all yet? Because he still can't get over that tidbit of information.

"No, no, no..." Apatite waved his hands in the air, his face even deeper blue than before. "I don't think you realize what's going on!"

"Does he think YOU'RE running the place!?" Somewhere, a smug kid beyond his field of vision erupted into laughter and got on Papyrus' nerves.

"Oh my God! This is hilarious! I have never, ever, ever, ever seen someone act like this before!"

Was a toddler from an entirely different species making fun of him? That was not supposed to happen.

"Answer my questions, Apple Pie. Maybe then I'll think about shutting down these jokes. In the meantime, or should I say, mealtime..." Papyrus snapped his fingers in a hurried motion.

"Wh... what?" Starry Night Sans let a gurgle slip through along with a confused expression.

"Now, that, was horrible! But I'll give you credit- that's a good try!" The human didn't have to offer commentary on clandestine operation. This is for sweet treat's ears only, tarta el tarta. Let your victim work his magic, here. He's just warming up.

Uh... um... oh, here we go; "Hey, I saw your house, when I was being lifted up? It looks pretty crumby, if you ask me. Maybe crusty around the edges? You better fill it up more."

Three in one was the winner. Jay shook his head in silent and absolute wonder. Night-y White-y's body went through a spasm, like he was pushing down a fit of giggles. A small smile trekked across Apatite's skull, as if he was morbidly enjoying his existence being torn apart.

Unfortunately, silver linings don't last. They last just as long as a human's pun tolerance lasts. "How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

Why is this dumb human offspring irritating him so much? Pay no heed to all the doubters, you're on a roll here. Look at your audience! When's the last time you made this many people laugh?

This is not what I'm going for, Papyrus resisted the urge to stomp his foot in frustration. His emotions were threatening to boil over. You're a genuis, Paps, now they think you're stupid.

He furrowed his brow. "What's the difference between a worm and an apple?" Papyrus scoffed as loud as he could. "Have you tried a worm pie?"

While the Sanses fell prey to many degrees of humor and disbelief, Papyrus felt his bones tense up in their place. He was starting to grow dizzy, light-headed, maybe. He has to do something and act on it fast.

"I can't believe a Papyrus exists that does something like this!" His kidnapper hollered, still unseen, still extremely punch-able.

"Somebody give him a medal! This comedian is killing me! Not because of his jokes, but because, somehow, he defined the odds!"

Papyrus wished he could have the power to zip human lips. The Super Human Shusher. Clap-Trap. God, what he'd trade for that kind of ablitity. Some kind of leverage against this people.

In case you haven't noticed... they aren't laughing at you, they're laughing with the human.

Hang on. The gears are whirling in his head. Yeah. He has something that this kid can choke on.

Carefully, he lowered his gaze and flexed his fingers. He curled them into a fist. His eyes began a search to behold the location of...

Yes, right there. You made a big mistake, wandering straight into his line of sight.

He summoned his magic. He watched the human double over for a moment, overwhelmed by their mirth. Their amusement quickly transformed into a gasp as the were suddenly thrown into air.

The rest of the Sanses entertainment was gone too, replaced with stunned stares as Papyrus chucked the human toward him with his blue magic. Leverage coming right up!

"This is not a joke." He growled. "Tell me exactly what you want with me, and why all of you look like my brother!"

The doppëlgangers watched their young leader spin around, and around, and around. A fleshy merry-go-round. Apatite muttered something that showed he wasn't a happy camper.

Another monster decided he didn't like these circumstances either. Jay rolled up his sleeves and sent a glare his way, his wings preparing for flight.

"What's going on, guys?"

Holy crap. The voice by itself placed a tremor under Papyrus' feet.

The owner of that voice is big and it's behind me. Oh God.

*WHAT SHOULD PAPYRUS DO?
*TURN AROUND *JUST IGNORE IT