Struggles with the kill

Chapter 2

"Oh my god Rose! You are so damn genius!" Louise almost screamed. I chuckled at her sudden outburst. I opened my can of soda and took a sip. "If I want something, I go for it. You know that, and with boys there aint no difference."  Tess smirked. "You take Cameron, I'll do Justin."

I stared at her. "Sure girl, whatever. I don't understand that you actually like him. He is such a perv and a douche." We laughed. I loved how me and my friends had dumb conversations like this.

As I opened my locker, I heard some-one clear her throat loudly. I looked up to see our school slut and her 'friends', Layla. She looked at me like I had just killed her father, which I could have done but I swear to god I didn’t.

Not like she doesn't use that look all day long. Note. The. Sarcasm. "You know, I have stuff to do so if you could make it quick." I told her. Emily, one of her 'friends' chuckled but stopped immediately as Layla gave her a death glare.

"You are hitting on the new boy, aren't you?" Her voice sounded like a horse who is being raped. "Are you?" I asked, no way I am going to give this bitch any satisfaction. She took a step in my direction. "Listen here you little slut. He is mine, he doesn't like you and he never will. I mean, who would like a whore like you? Your own parents didn't even like you, that's the exact reason they didn't make it. Because they didn't want to take care of some nobody like you." My sarcastic smile faded. 

Those words hit me like bricks. Fucking hard bricks, right in my face. I was on the edge of tears. But like I said, I was not going give that bitch the satisfaction.

The urge of hitting her was so big. But I wouldn't give in. It'll make it look like she won. And that will never happen. I took my jacket and left, without saying anything. "Did you really need to say that, Lay?" I heard Emily ask quietly. Layla chuckled. "She needs to get away from what is mine."

I walked out of school and reached my motorcycle. Yes, I do have one. Actually, it's my dad's but... yeah. I kicked the engine, my baby reacted immediately. I couldn't hold it back anymore. Tears were starting to rush down my face. I needed to get out of this stupid place.

"Rose!" I heard a voice call behind me. "What?" I snapped not bothering to look up. "Woah, are... are you crying? What's up?" Out of all people, it was Cameron. I looked into his eyes. I bit the inside of my lip. "Nothing." My voice cracked. I didn't want to talk. I just drove away, the tears wouldn't stop. 

I didn't care that I was supposed to hang out with him, I couldn't face him right now.

I've been strong, but on the inside I'm nothing but an emotionally destroyed 18 year old girl. I fuck up everything I do. How can I be happy? I fucking kill people for living... Do you know that feeling when you are lying in your bed at night and start to overthink about literally everything and think everybody hates you and everything you do is worthless? That you are nothing but a worthless object and nobody would care if you'd be dead?

Yeah, well that is 10 times better than how I feel right now.

I drove fast, too fast. But I didn't care at all. Finally I arrived home. I'd let Daisy play at kindergarten for a little longer. No need for her to see me cry. I ran upstairs and fell onto my bed. I cried my eyes out, then I screamed as loud as I could, my face buried in my pillow.

I heard the doorbell ring. I slowly stood up when it rang fo the second time, wiped the mascara stains of my cheeks and walked downstairs. 

I opened the door. "Hey, what's up?" Damn Cameron leave me alone! I barely know him. Why does this kid try to comfort me? Like I said, I only met him today. "Cam, why are you here?" And of course, my voice broke at the end. And instead of sounding confident and happy I sounded like I just cried my eyeballs out. Which is pretty much what I did, but he doesn't need to know that.