Struggles with the kill

Chapter 8

My phone rings and the screen displays Steve. I'm not really in the mood for a chat Steve, could you please understand that I'm a teenager with emotions and who is just fucking tired? I guess not. I pick up the phone and start our conversation with a short, "Yes?" "Rosalie. I need you to come to the gym, now. We have some stuff to discuss." 

I'm scared for this conversation with Steve. I haven't been in school for the past four days and I wasn't planning on going anytime soon. After the training session incident with Justin, realization hit me that I have nobody left I actually love. I felt like I was cursed and only then I started to really miss my dear little sister. I didn't cry, I never cry. I have my walls built around me and even when I'm alone I don't let them down.

I realized that I never got called Debby anymore. Rosalie Stephens. Rosalie it was, nothing else to nobody. I was Rosalie. I am Rosalie. Rosalie kills people, I kill people. I guess the fact that I had a different name in the business made it a lot more easier to do. I could say 'I didn't kill him, Debby did.' to myself. Now I did.

I never skipped a training session though, because I need my revenge as soon as possible so I can end this, forever. Though, I've found something to help me get through the day, Steve is very lucky to have me sober at the gym.

        I try to focus on the road but my tiredness makes it very hard. I've been restless for the past week and every time I'm asleep I scream myself awake. I'm tortured by nightmares from either Daisy's, my parents' or my own death. Most nights I just wander around the house. Trying to find something to distract myself with. Lost in my thoughts and drowning in a sleepy mood I try to observe what's happening. A bright light. Is this the end? I hit my bricks and I realize the light comes from the head lights of a truck. But it's too late. 

        I'm stuck under water and I can't get up. I'm losing my ability to breathe. Then I hear voices, I'm trying to reach them but my attempts fail. "She has been out for five days now, doctor. Is she going to make it?" "I think so, she is lucky to have all her friends and family around her." Then the voices fade away. I try to scream, but I can't.

I don't know how long I'm out but I can hear people talking. But whenever I try to react, move or even make a noise, it feels like my body is tied down and my nerves are shut down too. 

"How is she doing doctor?" I hear footsteps and a sigh from the person by my bed. "Hi Rose, so are you planning on waking up anytime soon? Because I have been missing you a lot.," A silent laugh escapes from the person talking. He sounds so sweet and gentle, "I don't even know if you can hear me but you must wake up. Steve had an amazing plan. I would love to tell you about it but even if you are unconscious, I can't tell you."

I hear a door open and a sarcastic laugh, "Are you actually talking to a girl who has been out for about a week? Get your shit together." The person by my bed sighs, "You know Justin, you should try to be nice to her. I mean you don't have to talk to her but at least sit here for a few minutes. Maybe it will help her," He says and I hear muffling. Then I hear somebody sit on the chair next to my bed and he sighs and I hear the door closed.

I don't know how long he sits here but I think it has been a very long time. Then he speaks up and the voice is not the one I heard earlier, "One advice. Wake the fuck up. Cameron has been worrying his ass off about you. Why? I don'thave a fucking clue. I guess that there is something likable about you and I promised Ry and Cam to try to be nicer to you. It's just weird, you know. First we are just all boys and then you come around like it is nothing. So I guess, I'm sorry and I'm willing to start over. And I mean that doesn't mean that--" 

Then I feel something. I feel something? Wait, this could be good. Okay, you can do this. Fight it, fight the water and swim up. I try my best to make the water vanish and I see light coming from behind my closed eyelids.